About Ugi : Dazed and confused.
Ugi's FML badges
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Ugi's favorite FMLs
Today, I was walking down the street hand in hand with my girlfriend. I couldn't help but stare at a gorgeous girl as she bent down to pick something up. It was such a great sight, I didn't notice the metal telephone pole directly in my path. FML
by sorehead / 07/13/2011 at 12:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by butimarealbear / 07/13/2011 at 9:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by couldntholdit / 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML
by Anonymous / 07/08/2011 at 11:46am / Belgium (Liege) / Health
by Yoda / 07/08/2011 at 1:23am / United States (New York) / Geek
by independence / 07/07/2011 at 12:04am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 5:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation
by asianlover / 06/30/2011 at 3:24am / Finland (Western Finland) / Miscellaneous
Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML
by Anonymous / 06/26/2011 at 2:12am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML
by Seriously / 06/15/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by julia / 06/11/2011 at 7:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML
by lilben / 06/10/2011 at 4:09am / United States (California) / Work
by fuck / 06/02/2011 at 2:43pm / United States / Kids
- Today, I noticed how big my brother's package is. If it hadn't been for the fact that my family has… Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job."… Today, I did the "walk of shame" sixteen blocks. It wouldn't have been so bad if the sidewalks and…