About Ugi : Dazed and confused.
Ugi's FML badges
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Ugi's favorite FMLs
Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML
by cjay2200 / 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Kids
by Alexis / 08/26/2011 at 7:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my family dragged me to an Alien-themed museum. They're convinced they were once abducted and felt up by creatures from outer space. They talk, and spend all their money, on nothing else. I'm hungry. FML
by Help / 08/13/2011 at 7:21pm / United States / Geek
Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML
by Anonymous / 08/13/2011 at 3:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML
by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
by moonstone15 / 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by cutiekenz21 / 07/30/2011 at 8:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by frankkathy / 07/26/2011 at 1:07pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML
by sisi9999 / 07/25/2011 at 12:14am / United States (Georgia) / Health
by assante2010 / 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm / United States (Maine) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/22/2011 at 2:29am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Username / 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm / United States / Love
by knolan / 07/20/2011 at 12:40am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML
by bigjohn106 / 07/17/2011 at 8:34am / United States (Maryland) / Love
- 1Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They… 2Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 3Today, my flatmate came home from a date with the same guy that I have been in love with since high…