Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ugi

Search for a member

Ugi

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6015
  • Number of comments : 1065
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Ugi : Dazed and confused.

Ugi's page activity

Visits<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 11:27pm<b>larosiee</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 12:12am<b>mgrazi99</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 2:36pm<b>JesusFreak227</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 11:12pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 10:40am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:42pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 10:10pm<b>Terzy</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 12:35am<b>lemurman108</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 1:11pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 9:20pm<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 12:58am<b>Owlnight321</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 1:03am<b>thenick_m</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 11:59pm<b>codazombie</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 5:07pm<b>NadiaDominique</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 2:04pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 11:11am<b>perdix</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 10:14am<b>LittlestPrincess</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 10:12am

Ugi's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Picture this FML

You have left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of Ugi's badges

Ugi's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML

#20054113
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23228) - you deserved it (3721)

On 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML

#20048187
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28176) - you deserved it (6776)

On 08/29/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finished my shopping at Costco, and realized I had forgotten where I had parked. After scouring the parking lot for 20 minutes, I called the police and filed a report for a stolen vehicle. I then remembered I had bought a new car yesterday and parked it right next to the entrance. FML

#20044345
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7189) - you deserved it (32411)

On 08/27/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by dgilbs - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

#20042115
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34452) - you deserved it (3271)

On 08/26/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35668) - you deserved it (10402) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend's phone was stolen. I have no idea who I've been sexting the entire afternoon. FML

#20033737
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29009) - you deserved it (8298)

On 08/21/2012 at 11:29am - intimacy - by Sexting (man) - United States

Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML

#20018436
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34764) - you deserved it (4808)

On 08/13/2012 at 8:19am - intimacy - by hmmmm (woman) - Australia

Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML

#19984171
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9370) - you deserved it (33335)

On 07/25/2012 at 9:11pm - intimacy - by Infiltrator4444 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my neighbors are moving. As we were saying our goodbyes, their 12-year-old son approached and thanked me for the times I forgot to shut the blinds and he watched me change. FML

#19945004
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15818) - you deserved it (25179)

On 07/16/2012 at 10:38am - kids - by oops123 (woman) - United States

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

#19920201
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20482) - you deserved it (5661)

On 07/10/2012 at 7:10pm - animals - by Nomoreballs (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML

#19875784
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7498) - you deserved it (24002)

On 07/01/2012 at 11:59am - animals - by mommabuser -

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML

#19873048
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36049) - you deserved it (1640)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML

#19827814
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22879) - you deserved it (3177)

On 06/22/2012 at 3:28am - work - by me - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

#19812569
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22768) - you deserved it (15134)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Shelby - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: