About Ugi : Dazed and confused.
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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Ugi's favorite FMLs
Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML
by Anonymous / 12/17/2010 at 12:08pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML
by biblewanker / 12/17/2010 at 11:05am / Australia / Intimacy
Today, I met my boyfriend's very strict and traditional Korean parents. I had to listen to them while they called me a skank and how I was fat and ugly compared to nice, pretty, Korean girls. They don't know I speak Korean. FML
by Anonymous / 12/12/2010 at 10:03pm / Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Love
by parentfail / 12/11/2010 at 9:44am / United Kingdom / Kids
by itsover / 12/11/2010 at 12:05am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "my mom is SO awesome." FML
by ooblie / 12/08/2010 at 3:22am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by bribreeeeeezyfreshhh / 12/06/2010 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 12:11am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
Today, my parents found several drawings of a dinosaur girl in various bondage equipment posing seductively in my purse. The drawings weren't mine, nor do I have any idea where they came from, but my parents now think I'm a freak. FML
by Anonymous / 11/29/2010 at 9:03am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML
by Anonymous / 11/25/2010 at 12:24am / United States (Washington) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 12:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML
by Anonymous / 11/11/2010 at 3:40am / France / Love
by Anonymous / 11/08/2010 at 5:55am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Animals
Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML
by Anonymous / 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
- Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked… Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I… Today, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to one another. He then did a naked victory lap around…
- Today, I travelled in a shared taxi on the winding roads of the Peruvian Andes. The guy next to me… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was…