About Ugi : Dazed and confused.
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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Ugi's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML
by Anonymous / 01/23/2011 at 7:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, while walking across campus, I stopped to look at my reflection in a window. I straightened my bra straps and then turned to the side to dig a wedgie out. It wasn't until I heard peals of laughter that I realized I couldn't see IN the classroom, but they could see OUT. FML
by RBHSWedgieGirl / 01/22/2011 at 8:35pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 1:24am / France / Intimacy
Today, I'm 19 years old and, having never been on a date, I agreed to let my friend set me up. He was adorable, young, with blond hair and blue eyes...and 4 years old. My friend tricked me into babysitting. FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Arkansas) / Kids
Today, I went to the grocery store with my mom's boyfriend. We were in the bread aisle when he picked up a loaf that was in my hand, and said, "No, no, you have to FEEL the bread," and started rubbing it all over his body. He's moving in next week. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 12:39pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
by Gabriel A / 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/13/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, I was on my way to work behind a very slow car. At a red light, the lady came over and punched me in the face for following her too closely. We are coworkers and our desks are next to each other. FML
Today, my husband invited a couple of his college friends over for dinner. While we were in the middle of eating, one of them asked loudly, "Hey, whatever happened to that fat bitch you dated in your third year?" We've been dating since his second year. FML
by Anonymous / 01/11/2011 at 2:06pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love
Today, I tried to email my Dad a picture of someone we knew that I'd found on the Internet. He called me later to inform me that I had actually sent him a picture of myself in a naughty school girl outfit that I'd taken for my husband. My mom was laughing her ass off. FML
by Anonymous / 01/10/2011 at 3:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by ciotter / 01/08/2011 at 3:57am / United States (California) / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/29/2010 at 2:03am / United States / Transportation
Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML
by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 1:20am / United States (Alabama) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…