Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ub3r_Crippl3

Search for a member

Ub3r_Crippl3
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7988
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Ub3r_Crippl3's last visitors

Kellyexpobotanistjessicadjb23

Ub3r_Crippl3's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Ub3r_Crippl3's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother told me she's disappointed in me for not going to a better college, and that if I was in the top ten of my class that the rest of those ten must be really dumb. Fact is, I threw away the acceptance letters to Carnegie Mellon and Cornell because I didn't want her to have to pay. FML

#4705802
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21661) - you deserved it (35168)

On 08/21/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had my sweet sixteen party. All my best friends came to the microphone to make a little speech. When my boyfriend came to do his, he broke up with me. FML

#4687327
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57266) - you deserved it (5151)

On 08/20/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by 16isntsweet (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked her why she did, she said that the psychic that she was texting (one of those 44644 numbers) said we have a 2% compatibility rating. How does that explain 4 years of happy dating? FML

#4682415
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47122) - you deserved it (3680)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:50pm - love - by ihatemylife (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my little sister thought it'd be cool to pierce my nose while I was asleep. FML

#4678822
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43876) - you deserved it (3308)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by NoseInPain (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML

#4678208
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12837) - you deserved it (33173)

On 08/20/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, was the first day all week I got to sleep in. I woke up this beautiful morning to the sun shining in my window and hundreds of carpenter ants crawling over my sheets and me. FML

#4677872
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39902) - you deserved it (2485)

On 08/20/2009 at 8:45am - misc - by tommy3824 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

#4674126
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17383) - you deserved it (43664)

On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML

#4673205
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7240) - you deserved it (73127)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend jumped, naked, onto my computer desk, with the intention of having sex on it. A new, £250 computer desk, broken beyond repair. And we didn't even have sex. FML

#4662087
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47561) - you deserved it (6521)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by kneesarethenewdesk (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth and laughed before she passed out. FML

#4661982
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55596) - you deserved it (3789)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at WalMart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide and seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As I was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML

#4651060
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40651) - you deserved it (4109)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:32am - misc - by Dude (man) - United States (California)

Today, and for quite some time, my girlfriend has been telling me that she needs to go home each night to take care of her cat. Taking care of her cat is, it seems, an euphemism for having it off with her neighbor Tom since her cat died three months ago. FML

#4650437
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40562) - you deserved it (3097)

On 08/19/2009 at 5:08am - love - by catguy (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work while washing the dishes I was told to go put some things into the big freezer at the back of the store. While doing so, the door closed behind me, so naturally I pushed it, only to have my wet hands freeze to the door. I yelled to my manager for 10 minutes before help came. FML

#4650145
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37338) - you deserved it (4950)

On 08/19/2009 at 4:44am - work - by ohno. (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I threw a party while my parents were gone. I forgot that our alarm automatically turns on at 11 pm, so when people opened the door, it went off. I couldn't find the number for the alarm company, so the cops showed up. Everyone started cheering because they thought they were strippers. FML

#4646350
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10472) - you deserved it (48280)

On 08/19/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Life of the party - Sent from mobile version



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: