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Ub3r_Crippl3

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Ub3r_Crippl3

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  • Number of visits : 9129
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Ub3r_Crippl3's page activity

Visits<b>Kellyexpo</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 6:42pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 8:18am<b>botanistjessica</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 1:26am<b>ILoveSoccer_10</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 5:38pm<b>djb23</b> - the 07/27/2009 at 12:22am<b>ch2358</b> - the 07/12/2009 at 11:13pm

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Ub3r_Crippl3's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my son and daughter that their father and I were getting a divorce. They each responded with "YAY! I want to live with daddy! He buys better presents." Their father has literally never bought anything for them, the exact reason I'm divorcing him. FML

#5530738
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39914) - you deserved it (8029)

On 09/28/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML

#5529870
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43348) - you deserved it (3273)

On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - money - by SnuggieOverload (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a restraining order put on me. I have apparently been following a woman's daughter home after she leaves track practice and parking my car outside their home. I'm a math teacher at the school and leave everyday at 4:30. I have lived across the street for the past six years. FML

#5505995
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48484) - you deserved it (2114)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by stalker (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking whilst texting. I thought I was going in a straight line but I ended up walking right into an open phone booth. A woman was inside making a phone call. I lost my balance, pinning her up against the wall. She thought I was attacking her and clobbered me with the receiver. FML

#5504838
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8719) - you deserved it (45881)

On 09/27/2009 at 11:59am - misc - by absentmindedmoron (man) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, by text, while we were in the same room. FML

#5502747
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48235) - you deserved it (3765)

On 09/27/2009 at 8:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I went to the bar to celebrate my friend's birthday party. I gave the bouncer my ID and he kicked me out, saying that I should at least use an ID card with the correct gender. I'm 22 and female, he thought I was an underage boy. FML

#5497361
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35448) - you deserved it (3479)

On 09/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML

#5494730
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48579) - you deserved it (3759)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my football team played in a game against our rival school that was just a few blocks away. We hadn't lost the game in exactly 49 years, we were playing for the 50th year win. We lost 63-0, and got booed off the field by our own crowd. FML

#5478797
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18127) - you deserved it (33540)

On 09/26/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Fmycar - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to sneak up my husband while he was playing a computer game. As I was getting behind the chair, he paused the game and sat up straight. I stopped. He turned around and sneezed violently and blew a bunch of snot into my face and eyes. FML

#5477011
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27344) - you deserved it (17215)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:47pm - health - by snottyface (woman) - United States

Today, we got our progress reports. My physics teacher wrote that I don't participate in class. My mom got mad and grounded me before I could tell her that I raise my hand in class all the time but my teacher won't call on me cause he can't pronounce my name. FML

#5466683
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43641) - you deserved it (2823)

On 09/25/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Non-active (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at a bus stop my friend told me that he loved me. I, reacting on impulse, told him how long I've wanted to hear him say that, and kissed him. Then I realised the look on his face. Turns out he'd said 'I need new shoes' not 'I love you.' FML

#5425819
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21459) - you deserved it (43880)

On 09/23/2009 at 10:10am - love - by Lifes_overated (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend beat me at ping pong, twenty to three. She said I let her win because I don't respect her, then stormed out of the room. I'm just really bad at ping pong. FML

#5423695
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37941) - you deserved it (3950)

On 09/23/2009 at 4:14am - love - by garrett (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I am deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML

#5419647
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37244) - you deserved it (2188)

On 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML

#5416857
452 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60732) - you deserved it (5285)

On 09/22/2009 at 5:48pm - misc - by carnivore (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went into work. After three years of working 55 hours a week they fire me by putting the contents of my locker at the front door that said "if not picked up by 10:00 am stuff will be donated." I work the night shift. I just lost three sweaters, two pairs of shoes, $60 and my job. FML

#5413535
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39041) - you deserved it (2256)

On 09/22/2009 at 1:08pm - work - by unemployed (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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