Ub3r_Crippl3

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Ub3r_Crippl3

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 13795
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Ub3r_Crippl3's page activity

Visits<b>Kellyexpo</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 6:42pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 8:18am<b>botanistjessica</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 1:26am<b>ILoveSoccer_10</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 5:38pm<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 9:38pm<b>djb23</b> - the 07/27/2009 at 12:22am<b>ch2358</b> - the 07/12/2009 at 11:13pm

Ub3r_Crippl3's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Ub3r_Crippl3's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML

by SnuggieOverload / 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I had a restraining order put on me. I have apparently been following a woman's daughter home after she leaves track practice and parking my car outside their home. I'm a math teacher at the school and leave everyday at 4:30. I have lived across the street for the past six years. FML

by stalker / 09/27/2009 at 1:24pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking whilst texting. I thought I was going in a straight line but I ended up walking right into an open phone booth. A woman was inside making a phone call. I lost my balance, pinning her up against the wall. She thought I was attacking her and clobbered me with the receiver. FML

by absentmindedmoron / 09/27/2009 at 11:59am / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, by text, while we were in the same room. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2009 at 8:17am / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Love

Today, I went to the bar to celebrate my friend's birthday party. I gave the bouncer my ID and he kicked me out, saying that I should at least use an ID card with the correct gender. I'm 22 and female, he thought I was an underage boy. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2009 at 12:10am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2009 at 10:18pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my football team played in a game against our rival school that was just a few blocks away. We hadn't lost the game in exactly 49 years, we were playing for the 50th year win. We lost 63-0, and got booed off the field by our own crowd. FML

by Fmycar / 09/26/2009 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to sneak up my husband while he was playing a computer game. As I was getting behind the chair, he paused the game and sat up straight. I stopped. He turned around and sneezed violently and blew a bunch of snot into my face and eyes. FML

by snottyface / 09/25/2009 at 11:47pm / United States / Health

Today, we got our progress reports. My physics teacher wrote that I don't participate in class. My mom got mad and grounded me before I could tell her that I raise my hand in class all the time but my teacher won't call on me cause he can't pronounce my name. FML

by Non-active / 09/25/2009 at 2:22pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a bus stop my friend told me that he loved me. I, reacting on impulse, told him how long I've wanted to hear him say that, and kissed him. Then I realised the look on his face. Turns out he'd said 'I need new shoes' not 'I love you.' FML

by Lifes_overated / 09/23/2009 at 10:10am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, my girlfriend beat me at ping pong, twenty to three. She said I let her win because I don't respect her, then stormed out of the room. I'm just really bad at ping pong. FML

by garrett / 09/23/2009 at 4:14am / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I am deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML

by carnivore / 09/22/2009 at 5:48pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went into work. After three years of working 55 hours a week they fire me by putting the contents of my locker at the front door that said "if not picked up by 10:00 am stuff will be donated." I work the night shift. I just lost three sweaters, two pairs of shoes, $60 and my job. FML

by unemployed / 09/22/2009 at 1:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I parked my truck next to a rather large SUV at school, went to class for 8 hours straight, came back and found my passenger side door crumpled from where they had backed out and hit it. They left a note on my window that said, "Sorry about your truck, but I don't have insurance." FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2009 at 1:16pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation