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Ub3r_Crippl3

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Ub3r_Crippl3
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8003
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, it was my friend's paintball party and we were doing it in a forest nearby. When I arrived at his house, his parents said they already started, so I geared up and went out there to find that there was a note on a tree. It said 'Sorry', and then twenty people jumped from bushes and ambushed me. FML

#5699307
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30654) - you deserved it (10374)

On 10/07/2009 at 7:13am - misc - by shitballs_911 (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, I was walking out of class when I saw a girl enthusiastically run to her boyfriend, jump on him, and smother him with kisses. I thought to myself "I wish my girlfriend did that." When the girl jumped off and turned around I realized she did, just not to me. FML

#5689238
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49833) - you deserved it (2313)

On 10/06/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by zitroskies (man) - United States (California)

Today, my roomate thought it would be funny to take pictures of my morning wood and put it up on Facebook for everyone to see. FML

#5680173
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20679) - you deserved it (2685)

On 10/06/2009 at 9:53am - intimacy - by Crappit (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I chose to wear khaki dress pants to class to look professional. I was in the hallway when one of my professors pulled me aside to ask if I was feeling well. Apparently, the dryer had "eaten" my pants and made a large brown stain on the butt, making it look like I had crapped myself. FML

#5678496
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33126) - you deserved it (8491)

On 10/06/2009 at 4:28am - misc - by coolchicka05 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I fainted on the sidewalk. When I woke up, I was still lying on the sidewalk, people were stepping over me and my purse was gone. FML

#5676795
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55036) - you deserved it (3185)

On 10/06/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by blackedout (woman) - Singapore

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45848) - you deserved it (3719)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a red light camera ticket for $100 in the mail. After checking the date and time, I realized it was from when I was rear ended into the intersection while STOPPED at a red light. FML

#5658731
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38870) - you deserved it (1842)

On 10/05/2009 at 7:11am - misc - by corfan01 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall with a note saying "Sorry Dude". FML

#5655970
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9968) - you deserved it (34447)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I drove my cousin to her wedding. The photographer said I was too ugly for the official photos so they searched the crowd for a good looking guy to pose as the driver in my new car. No one in the crowd stopped to defend me. My mom told me it's my own fault. FML

#5642401
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46186) - you deserved it (4026)

On 10/04/2009 at 2:13pm - misc - by CapeRanger (man) - South Africa (Limpopo)

Today, I was fired for not attending a mandatory meeting. I confronted my boss and told her I never heard anything about it, she told me that daily reminders had been sent out via email for weeks. She then discovered that she failed to enter my email address in the system. I was still fired. FML

#5607614
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41517) - you deserved it (1763)

On 10/02/2009 at 5:31pm - work - by Rae (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was at a business supply store, I decided to get my old paper birth certificate laminated so it wouldn't deteriorate further. The people working decided to wait until after it was done and I had paid to tell me that laminating a birth certificate voids it. FML

#5605552
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26011) - you deserved it (7261)

On 10/02/2009 at 3:32pm - misc - by nonexistant (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was woken up by the massive earthquake in Samoa. I went downstairs to discover that all the hotel staff had fled and abandoned the hotel guests. I was left to run up to higher ground on foot. It was a three hour hike. By the time I got to a safe spot, the tsunami warning was lifted. FML

#5601123
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30857) - you deserved it (3090)

On 10/02/2009 at 6:41am - misc - by greeenbean (woman) - Samoa

Today, I picked my car up from the shop. After 5 minutes I noticed the oil and check engine light on. I pulled over, then the engine shut off completely. Turns out they forgot to put oil back in my car. I'll be needing a new engine. FML

#5599183
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30326) - you deserved it (2137)

On 10/02/2009 at 1:51am - misc - by cartrouble (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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