Ub3r_Crippl3

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Ub3r_Crippl3

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 14721
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Ub3r_Crippl3's page activity

Visits<b>Kellyexpo</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 6:42pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 8:18am<b>botanistjessica</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 1:26am<b>ILoveSoccer_10</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 5:38pm<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 9:38pm<b>djb23</b> - the 07/27/2009 at 12:22am<b>ch2358</b> - the 07/12/2009 at 11:13pm

Ub3r_Crippl3's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Ub3r_Crippl3's favorite FMLs

Today, my date arrived far earlier than expected to pick me up. Apparently my mother decided to show him to my room anyway. When the door swung open, I happened to be butt naked in front of the mirror, trying to pick out an ingrown hair on my bum. FML

by stubblebutt / 11/13/2009 at 7:17am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got bailed out of jail. I was there because I saw a girl being hit by her boyfriend. I rushed over to help only to have her hit me repeatedly. The cops came and she blamed her bruises on me. The boyfriend corroborated her story. FML

by ournhd / 11/13/2009 at 1:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML

by homewrecker / 11/08/2009 at 10:39am / United States / Love

Today, a woman evidently posted on a chat website asking for any young men to send pictures of their junk to her cell phone. Over 60 messages were sent, mostly by underage boys, most of them including the picture. Only problem. The number posted wasn't hers... It was mine. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML

by buckid310 / 11/03/2009 at 4:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, it's Saturday night, and also Halloween. Instead of going out, I'm sitting at home on MSN telling everyone who asks me what I'm doing tonight that I'm 'going out in 10 minutes to a party', then when 10 minutes pass, I block them. FML

by pathetic / 10/31/2009 at 6:08am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that when they put "Take with food" on the side of antibiotics, what they really mean is "Take with food because this stuff is gonna liquefy everything in your G.I. tract, and make you have to run out of the middle of calculus for the worst diarrhea ever." FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2009 at 11:36am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I submitted my 5000 word assignment. When I got home, my mother asked if I'd checked it through one more time like she always warned me to do. I hadn't. And I therefore hadn't noticed the paragraph on p11 that she'd written, telling me to pay attention to the small details. FML

by JZ / 10/30/2009 at 9:34am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wore my kilt to the university I attend. Getting tired of the stares which I was receiving, I yelled "It's cause its too big to fit in my pants". As soon as the words left my mouth, a gust of wind came and blew my kilt up around my waist, revealing that my previous claim was untrue. FML

by TrueScotsman / 10/29/2009 at 10:31am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a free temporary tattoo of a scorpion in a packet of potato chips and decided to wear it on my wrist. Whilst I was in the shower, I got a shock, thinking it was a spider. I then lost balance and slipped, banging my head on the faucet. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2009 at 1:15am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, I went on a first date with an employee from Sobey's who asked for my number while I was grocery shopping. We decided to each bring a friend. I brought my roommate. He brought his girlfriend. FML

by lds124 / 10/29/2009 at 12:11am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Love

Today, I confronted my boyfriend, suspecting that he has been cheating on me during the past few months. He vehemently denied it. Then told me it would never happen again. What? FML

by clueless / 10/29/2009 at 12:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML

by Lizofsmeg / 10/26/2009 at 12:24pm / United Kingdom (Brent) / Health

Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML

by Jack / 10/26/2009 at 2:32am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got diagnosed with a condition that expresses itself in the form of violent diarrhea whenever I get nervous. Now I am constantly nervous about getting nervous about anything. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2009 at 9:36am / Sweden (Norrbottens Lan) / Health

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous