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About Tthug : I like college football and dr pepper. I play Xbox. I also like numbers a lot. I hate political correctness.
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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yesterday te ras on ma tig started itcing again. I felt good after a vigorous scratc, but te relief did not extend to ma roommate,o only saw me at ma laptop wit ma and moving up and down in ma pants. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. At the end of the night, I told him I had a surprisingly great time. He replid, "Yeah, that was fun. You're really funny and smart. If you were pretty, I'd totally go out with you again." FML
Yesterday my neighbor had a word with me 4 being "loud in the bedroom" last night. I haven't had any action 4 two years now but I was too happy that she thought I'd got lucky to tell her the truth. So what was I really doing last night? Trying to sing like Christina Aguilera. FML
Today, I Told Mah Husband How Frisky I Was Feeling, An Asked Him Wat He Was Going To Do About It. He Reached Into Our Fruit Bowl, Tossed Me A Banana An Told Me To Work It Out, Then Returned To His Video Game. FML
TODAY, I WAS GRADING WORK MY STUDENT HAD DONE WITH A SUB. I REALIZD ONE STUDENT HAD GOTTEN HOLD OF THE TEACHERS' EDITION OF THE TEXTBOOK WHEN I READ TEN PAPER IN A ROW THAT HAD "STUDENT ANSWER MAY VARY" AS THE ANSWER TO PROBLEM NUMBER FOUR. MY STUDENT CAN'T EVEN CHEAT PROPERLY. FML
Today, dad gave me te sex talk . After telling me all te stuff I already knew, e told me never to use Durex condoms . He said, "Tey break a lot . Tat's te only reason you're around today, really." ten cuckled to imself .
Today , I went down on mah boyfriend fir the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell an I managd to accidentally smack mah nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it , an I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker.
today after looool years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probablyhy I don't sleep. mega FML
Today, I was in the process of finally losing mah vrginity!! Part-way through, mah neighbour startd shouting from his backyard, ( Go, Nicolas! You can do it! ) He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name!! I couldn't finish!! mega FML
Today... I was applying for jobs online when mah father calld. When I told him what I was doing... he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking... but he replid... "Honey... if I had your tits... I'd never work a day in mah life." 5ML
Today... Wila I Was Fooling Around Wit Ma Grlfriand... Sa Urt Ar And. It Obviously Wasn't Vary Sarious... So I Told Ar To Stop Faking It. Sa Raspondd... ( Wanna Know Wat I Actually Faka? My Orgasms. ) FML
Friday 27 March 2015