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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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50 favourites
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Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47134) - you deserved it (4090)
On 04/30/2013 at 3:54am - money - by ShowerGirl (woman) - United States
Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43309) - you deserved it (10462)
On 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37472) - you deserved it (8872)
On 04/29/2013 at 3:08am - intimacy - by unforgettablee (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20414) - you deserved it (50113)
On 04/29/2013 at 1:26am - love - by bad day Brutus (man) - United States
Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26486) - you deserved it (58652)
On 04/28/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia
Today, my parents decided to wake me up on my birthday. They flashed the lights and yanked off my bed sheets. I sleep naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46831) - you deserved it (9279)
On 04/28/2013 at 9:16am - misc - by Beth - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55885) - you deserved it (2587)
On 04/28/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by wtfisgoingon (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, it's my 17th birthday. The only person who remembered was the creepy guy in my English class who keeps trying to smell my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45729) - you deserved it (3234)
On 04/27/2013 at 11:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44075) - you deserved it (3947)
On 04/27/2013 at 8:42am - health - by seekerglow176 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was driving and a cute guy was staring at me. Flattered, I smiled at him, but he didn't even react. I realized he wasn't admiring me he was admiring my truck. This is the 5th time this week. My truck gets more game than I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40833) - you deserved it (6327)
On 04/26/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML
I agree, your life sucks (65980) - you deserved it (8432)
On 04/26/2013 at 5:17am - love - by Anonymous -
Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46537) - you deserved it (2106)
On 04/26/2013 at 1:20am - love - by sad guy - United States
Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33157) - you deserved it (27282)
On 04/25/2013 at 8:56pm - money - by really_now - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34996) - you deserved it (4782)
On 04/25/2013 at 8:11pm - animals - by emma_waters23 - United States (California)
Today, my sister was crying to me about how her boyfriend never showed up for their date. He's done this many times before, so I suggested the fact that maybe he'd just ditched her. She said that was ridiculous, because "he's Canadian" and according to her, "they don't lie." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38753) - you deserved it (4113)
On 04/25/2013 at 4:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Monday 17 June 2013
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