Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Online | Search for a member
About Tthug : I like college football and dr pepper. I play Xbox. I also like numbers a lot. I hate political correctness. I like offending people for shock value quite often.
I don't like most of the politicians in DC. I don't like pictures of myself.
I was born in 1991. I have a Y chromosome. I live far south of the Mason-Dixon Line. Not in Texas anymore, although Texas is a great place.
I like guns. And fast cars. And Jesus.
Sarcasm is my love language.
I held a black widow in my hand when I was little and it didn't bite me.
How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
I NEED to know!
Today, less than a week after ranting to my husband about how sick some people are to sexualize characters from kids' TV shows, I looked through his browser history and found out he's very much into Powerpuff Girls porn. FML
Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML
Today, I picked up a co-worker from the airport. As she got in the car, she looked over at me and said, "I'm still not sleeping with you". This was our second conversation. The first is when she asked if I could pick her up from the airport. FML
Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML
Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML
Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML
Friday 31 July 2015