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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Today, my sister was crying to me about how her boyfriend never showed up for their date. He's done this many times before, so I suggested the fact that maybe he'd just ditched her. She said that was ridiculous, because "he's Canadian" and according to her, "they don't lie." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38486) - you deserved it (4102)
On 04/25/2013 at 4:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was excited for my first date in a while, with a "tall handsome business man." Turns out he "doesn't feel emotions anymore", likes getting peed on, and "doesn't do condoms." Thanks, internet dating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42518) - you deserved it (10695)
On 04/25/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while grocery shopping, I was having such terrible abdominal pains I could hardly walk. As I'm 8 months pregnant, I told my husband we should head home. He thought a better idea was to run through the store and hide from me, hoping to induce labor by making me chase him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41665) - you deserved it (3245)
On 04/24/2013 at 8:18pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47754) - you deserved it (2977)
On 04/24/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by awkward O_o - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was sent to group therapy. A girl spent twenty minutes telling us horrible details of having been raised incestuously. A side effect of my new medication is yawning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37792) - you deserved it (2814)
On 04/24/2013 at 2:23am - health - by fiercehawk (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my seven-year-old nephew challenged me to a push up contest in front of my girlfriend. He beat me, and then asked my girlfriend why she's dating a pussy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45185) - you deserved it (18506)
On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - kids - by BIGCHEIFAAA (man) - United States (California)
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68954) - you deserved it (3077)
On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States
Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31794) - you deserved it (4318)
On 04/23/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my husband rejected sleeping with me because he wants to "save his energy" for building his custom car. Apparently, I'm a "distraction." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38005) - you deserved it (4977)
On 04/23/2013 at 9:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17146) - you deserved it (60670)
On 04/22/2013 at 6:31pm - love - by Out from Hell (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28585) - you deserved it (94590)
Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a weird boob dance and middle fingered me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35688) - you deserved it (12261)
On 04/21/2013 at 10:56pm - misc - by Magicali (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61312) - you deserved it (5662)
On 04/21/2013 at 6:20am - intimacy - by loving wife - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42942) - you deserved it (5435)
On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand
Today, while my boyfriend was in the kitchen, he got three text messages, all of which were from "Babe 2", "Babe 3", and "Babe 4". FML
I agree, your life sucks (49354) - you deserved it (5949)
On 04/20/2013 at 8:02am - love - by How strange - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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