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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I caught my boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Girls in yoga pants" site. He saw my expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid my junk so they'll think it's a chick!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (30234) - you deserved it (653)
On 01/10/2013 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Amy (woman) - United States
Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9459) - you deserved it (20434)
On 01/09/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by drake86 - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)
Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27361) - you deserved it (1754)
On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24829) - you deserved it (4788)
On 01/07/2013 at 8:01am - intimacy - by wetsheets (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20501) - you deserved it (3709)
On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)
Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20727) - you deserved it (7095)
Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19522) - you deserved it (2276)
On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He wound up drinking a whole bottle of wine, and when the bill came he drunkenly yelled at the waiter, claiming it should be free, because he's in the military "fighting for your freedom". He's a mechanic in the National Guard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17034) - you deserved it (2586)
On 01/05/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by so embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8320) - you deserved it (26122)
On 01/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19558) - you deserved it (2886)
On 01/05/2013 at 4:21am - intimacy - by kblevss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, during dinner, my mum asked why I've been so upset recently, so I just admitted it was because my girlfriend had cheated on me. At some point during my venting, I asked why this stuff always seems to happen to me. My dad looked up from his plate and said, "Probably karma." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12525) - you deserved it (4029)
On 01/04/2013 at 9:04pm - misc - by moronforadad (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18741) - you deserved it (3856)
On 01/04/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Groningen)
Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13102) - you deserved it (2301)
On 01/04/2013 at 7:31pm - love - by marisa (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)
Today, my boyfriend showed up at my grandmother's wake in torn jeans and a Family Guy t-shirt. When I took him aside asked him what the hell he was thinking, he lost his temper and stormed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14256) - you deserved it (2478)
On 01/04/2013 at 5:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to take a shower. Afterwards, I noticed I'd forgotten to bring a shirt to change into, so I put on a towel and went back to my room, only to witness my 14-year-old brother and a friend smelling my bra, commenting on "how warm it is". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21926) - you deserved it (1327)
On 01/03/2013 at 3:35pm - kids - by PrezKisame (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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