This member hasn't filled in the description.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28106) - you deserved it (4930)
On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8476) - you deserved it (23934)
On 02/11/2013 at 9:30pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26801) - you deserved it (1617)
On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States
Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43443) - you deserved it (2640)
On 02/11/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by excusemeprincess (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was talking to an attractive guy, but I was so nervous that I got tongue-tied and then blurted out, "Stupid autocorrect." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13157) - you deserved it (19135)
On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my mom started referring to me as "The Bitch". When I asked her why, she said that I have always been a bitch, but I was never old enough for her to actually call me a bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21244) - you deserved it (4934)
On 02/10/2013 at 11:26pm - misc - by maggu (woman) - Denmark
Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24861) - you deserved it (2956)
On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out my mother has enough toys to open a sex shop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31041) - you deserved it (3107)
On 02/09/2013 at 7:00am - intimacy - by Lois - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26740) - you deserved it (7370)
On 02/09/2013 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14146) - you deserved it (33381)
On 02/09/2013 at 12:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Somerset)
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44922) - you deserved it (6981)
On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I pointed out to my boyfriend how Valentine's day, my birthday, and our one-year anniversary were all coming up in the next few weeks. He then promptly broke up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29377) - you deserved it (7542)
On 02/08/2013 at 1:24am - love - by katelynm - United States
Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backed against a wall, lifted my skirt and sorted it. I then turned around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9633) - you deserved it (24623)
On 02/07/2013 at 7:31am - misc - by chattyloz (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, while using a public restroom to change my tampon, I made eye contact with someone looking at me through the little space in the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33794) - you deserved it (1505)
On 02/07/2013 at 4:51am - misc - by fviz (woman) - United States
Today, I told my sister that boys are stronger than girls. She responded by beating the living crap out of me to prove me wrong. She's twelve. I'm eighteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8778) - you deserved it (41041)
On 02/07/2013 at 1:57am - misc - by manhandled by a little girl (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
