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About Tthug : I like college football and dr pepper. I play Xbox. I also like numbers a lot. I hate political correctness.
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Today, mah best friend and I, after yeres of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in mah head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML
Today while talking to mah boyfriend I noticed he looked uncomfortable. When I asked what was wrong he asked when the last time I shaved was. I answered ( I shaved mah legs this morning. ) He shook his head and said ( No I meant your face. ) big fat FML
Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain mah balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of mah bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML
TODAY... I WAS GOING FIR MA MORNING WALK... WEN A GUY IN A MASSIVE TRUCK DROVE UP BESIDE ME... WIT A KID NO MORE TAN 4 RIDING SOTGUN. I LOST MA FAIT IN UMANITY WEN IS TINY VOICE YELLED TROUG TE WINDOW... "NICE ASS!" FML
TODAY, A GUY IN MAH CLASS WAS TALKING ABOUT HIMSELF. HE STARTED HIS STORY WITH, "WHEN I WAS LITTLE, I WAS A GINGER." I REPLIED WITHOUT THINKING, "IS THAT WHY U GOT PUT UP 4 ADOPTION?" HIM BEING ADOPTED WAS THE ACTUAL STORY HE WANTED TO TELL. REAL FML
Today, my husband an I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like u wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up an saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML
Today , I babysat a 6-year-old boy 4 the first time. When I said it was his bedtime , he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked , all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned , I had to make up an excuse 4 y he was still awake and watching TV , to save mah pride. fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015