About Tropicanaxxxx : Kayla. 20. Failure.
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Tropicanaxxxx's favorite FMLs
Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML
by traumatizedforlife / 08/05/2013 at 4:21pm / United States / Animals
Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction and got off as fast as he got on. FML
by orely44 / 03/08/2013 at 9:13am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Animals
Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML
by diggingaplotforone / 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML
by eldar90 / 02/25/2012 at 4:38pm / Israel / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML
by lorahayes / 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm / United States / Kids
by mottephobe / 04/06/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Utah) / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/22/2011 at 7:12pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by Theaccident / 01/22/2011 at 5:03am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy who lives on the same floor as me in my apartment complex. I got stood up. Instead I got to listen to him doing the girl who lives next door to me. FML
by Anonymous / 01/20/2011 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by lonerjik / 01/19/2011 at 7:05am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm / France / Intimacy
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Intimacy
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 1:24am / France / Intimacy
- Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any… Today, my dad met my fiancé's dad for the first time. My fiancé's dad is a cop. He had arrested my… Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat,…