About Tropicanaxxxx : So my name is Kayla, I doubt you care. I\'m not going to sit here and say that I\'m unique or special because I\'m not. I\'m just like everyone else, I lie, cheat, bitch, complain, and anything else you believe humans do. Why? Because I am human. Now go look in the mirror, you\'re the same.
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24372) - you deserved it (6202)
On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)
Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20776) - you deserved it (1434)
Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26875) - you deserved it (6971)
On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24153) - you deserved it (16841)
On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I subbed for a first grade class. They were releasing butterflies. Butterflies scare me shitless. A bunch of 7 year-olds watched as I screamed hysterically when one landed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16219) - you deserved it (24687)
On 04/06/2011 at 2:22am - animals - by mottephobe - United States (Utah)
Today, my girlfriend, who's on a diet, refused to give me a blow job because my sperm would "add useless calories" to her day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29805) - you deserved it (10178)
On 01/22/2011 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my mum told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32095) - you deserved it (2417)
On 01/22/2011 at 5:03am - intimacy - by Theaccident (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy who lives on the same floor as me in my apartment complex. I got stood up. Instead I got to listen to him doing the girl who lives next door to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22927) - you deserved it (1979)
On 01/20/2011 at 3:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while I was sleeping I heard my girlfriend moaning. She was seemed to be having a wet dream. She moaned more in her dream than when having sex with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19410) - you deserved it (8640)
On 01/19/2011 at 7:05am - intimacy - by lonerjik (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13316) - you deserved it (32015) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32929) - you deserved it (21127) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24752) - you deserved it (15686) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35622) - you deserved it (4903)
On 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9300) - you deserved it (34681)
On 01/15/2011 at 2:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, I found some nude vintage pictures in my house. I decided to beat my meat to them. Later I found out it was my grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12697) - you deserved it (66450)
On 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm - intimacy - by Gabriel A - United States (Ohio)
Monday 20 May 2013
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