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Tortuga187's FML badges
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Tortuga187's favorite FMLs
by gorillalove / 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, for my mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, my mom and her boyfriend decided to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward for me and my friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard my friend going to town on herself. FML
by Anonymous / 08/16/2010 at 1:14am / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy
by Doritos / 06/17/2010 at 4:06am / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/24/2010 at 10:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/29/2010 at 2:25am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, while my boyfriend was sleeping, I got naked and sat on top of him. He woke up and I asked him if he would rather stay awake or go back to sleep, in hopes that he would stay awake and want to do some naughty stuff with me. His response? To grab my butt, and then go back to sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 12/21/2009 at 3:29am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML
Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML
by whatthewhat / 11/18/2009 at 2:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by poorcollegestudent / 10/30/2009 at 4:32pm / Canada (Alberta) / Money
Today, at work we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML
by R / 10/28/2009 at 6:29pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Work
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking a group shot with my friends when I asked a stranger to take the picture for us. He backed up and told us to squish closer together, and when he was at least 20 feet away, he turned and ran off with my camera. FML
by jacked / 10/02/2009 at 7:32pm / United States (California) / Money
by theregoesmyspermcount / 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm / United States (Texas) / Health
- Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never… Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her… Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and…