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Tortuga187

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Tortuga187

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 April 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1728
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Tortuga187's page activity

Visits<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 12:42pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 10:52am<b>JamieLT</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 6:45pm<b>keepkeep</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 9:25pm<b>Coop817</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 9:35am

Tortuga187's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Tortuga187's badges

Tortuga187's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage . I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off . FML

#13005397
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38246) - you deserved it (9659)

On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)

Today, fir mah mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, mah mom an her boyfriend decidd to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward fir me an mah friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard mah friend going to town on herself. real FML

#12552368
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44274) - you deserved it (4456)

On 08/16/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I reacd a new low and embarrasd my entire family. Wile in te frozen section of Walmart, I droppd to my knees and let out a orrific, agonizing scream, wen I found out tey were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7745) - you deserved it (55596)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today... mah girlfriend of 3 years left me for a guy whose favorite color is camouflage. FML

#8612745
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35073) - you deserved it (5020)

On 02/24/2010 at 10:29am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY, I WAS WALKING BY A POND WHEN I SAW A SMALL FROG. I DECIDD TO CATCH IT TO GET A CLOSE LOOK. AFTER I PICKD IT UP, I REALIZD THAT IT WAS NOT A FROG. IT WAS DOG SHIT SHAPD LIKE A FROG. MEGA FML

#7776158
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11860) - you deserved it (34166)

On 02/01/2010 at 9:34am - animals - by adad - Sent from mobile version

Today , after aving been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposd to cruelty to animals , I lost a bet and ad to eat a wole ceeseburger. I lovd it. FML

#7666116
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10518) - you deserved it (52063)

On 01/29/2010 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today ile ma boyfriend was sleeping I got naked and sat on top of im!! He woke up and I asked im if e would rater stay awake or go back to sleep in opes tat e would stay awake and want to do some naugty stuff wit me!! His response? To grab ma butt and ten go back to sleep!! FML

#6860527
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9871) - you deserved it (16517)

On 12/21/2009 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital 4 the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. looool Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guessho broke the news to the wife. real FML

#6722392
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42760) - you deserved it (3679)

On 12/12/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by RBEE (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML

#6354900
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41227) - you deserved it (2894)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:52pm - kids - by whatthewhat - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to ma university bookstore and tried to use ma debit card to pay, but got te ( Insufficient Funds ) notification!! I was buying a single postage stamp,ic costs 57 cents!! mega FML

#6071403
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27526) - you deserved it (9112)

On 10/30/2009 at 4:32pm - money - by poorcollegestudent (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work we were gatered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because is wife ad dropped tere newborn baby. I accidentally lauged at te image. FML

#6043300
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13017) - you deserved it (55005)

On 10/28/2009 at 6:29pm - work - by R (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I ad to take a dump . Wile looking for a book to read, I sneezd . Te force of te sneeze causd me to sit my pants . Te glob of dung ten ran down my leg before falling out of my sort onto my carpet, all in less tan 5 seconds . Noting in my life as prepard me for tis . FML

#5828114
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88167) - you deserved it (14713)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today I was taking a group shot with my friends when I askd a stranger to take the picture 4 us!! He backd up and told us to squish closer together and when he was at least 20 feet away he turnd and ran off with my camera!! FML

#5609665
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29865) - you deserved it (16521)

On 10/02/2009 at 7:32pm - money - by jacked (woman) - United States (California)

MY 250 LB EX-MARINE DAD ANNOUNCED HE WAS GOING TO START RANDOMLY PUNCHING ME IN THE CROTCH , WITHOUT WARNING , TO "IMPROVE MAH REFLEXES." FML

#4235904
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64763) - you deserved it (5271)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)



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