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Tortuga187's FML badges
  • Profile completed

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  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    34%
  • 42

    See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    1%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    2%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    7%
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
    67%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
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Tortuga187's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML

By lifsabtch - / Sunday 6 January 2013 17:24 /

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

By Dimples - / Thursday 3 January 2013 11:35 / United States - Sanford

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

By anonymous / Wednesday 27 March 2013 23:55 / United States - Honolulu

Today, I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I had ordered near my seat. I immediately ran up to him and asked him to stop stealing my food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Seconds later the attendant came out with my actual food. FML

By Hahamaster333 / Thursday 28 March 2013 01:02 /

Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML

By Noname - / Friday 20 February 2009 00:17 / United States