Tortuga187

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Tortuga187

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 April 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2368
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Tortuga187's page activity

Visits<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 12:42pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 10:52am<b>JamieLT</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 6:45pm<b>keepkeep</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 9:25pm<b>Coop817</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 9:35am

Tortuga187's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Tortuga187's badges

Tortuga187's favorite FMLs

Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob was called. FML

Today, it's the second week into my new neighbors' routine. He works nights, she works days. He likes to blast out Slayer and Napalm Death all day, she likes to drunkenly sing out of tune to Adele all night. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. FML

by Help / 11/26/2011 at 1:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, as I was driving to work, I witnessed a kid apparently getting jumped. Being a good citizen, I got out and started yelling at them. I ended up alongside the kid in the hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 3:41am / United States / Health

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML

by JJMan217 / 04/03/2011 at 3:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had such a violent coughing fit that my stomach emptied itself all over the floor while at my sales job. FML

by burntloyalty / 03/26/2011 at 4:54pm / United States / Health

Today, eating my weight in breadsticks at Olive Garden and trying to relive my childhood via a pogo stick was not a good combination. My new shoes are now a different color. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2011 at 8:20pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend said "It's funny how every time we have sex I'm wearing these panties." We've been having sex every day for the last six days. FML

by Lovenem / 02/16/2011 at 12:51pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML

by nosleep / 02/04/2011 at 7:05pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2011 at 3:09am / France / Animals

Today, I found out apparently I sleep walk. My boyfriend has been filming me and uploading it all to Youtube. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2010 at 12:11pm / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend got a great idea for her history class project... while we were having sex. FML

by erpuchi / 11/30/2010 at 8:52pm / Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional) / Intimacy

Today, I was at work, when I got bored and started spinning around in my chair for a little fun. As I was spinning, I went to grab my phone. I missed and sent my phone flying, hitting my coworker in the face. My boss witnessed the whole thing. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2010 at 3:29pm / United States (Maryland) / Work