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Tortuga187

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Tortuga187

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 April 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1050
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Tortuga187's page activity

Visits<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 12:42pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 10:52am<b>JamieLT</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 6:45pm<b>keepkeep</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 9:25pm<b>Coop817</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 9:35am

Tortuga187's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Tortuga187's badges

Tortuga187's favorite FMLs

Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob was called. FML

#18443540
97 comments

Today, it's the second week into my new neighbors' routine. He works nights, she works days. He likes to blast out Slayer and Napalm Death all day, she likes to drunkenly sing out of tune to Adele all night. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. FML

#18353086
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26069) - you deserved it (2049)

On 11/26/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Help - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML

#18242988
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32728) - you deserved it (4276)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I was driving to work, I witnessed a kid apparently getting jumped. Being a good citizen, I got out and started yelling at them. I ended up alongside the kid in the hospital. FML

#18078650
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34099) - you deserved it (3977)

On 10/26/2011 at 3:41am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16885) - you deserved it (30646)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85056) - you deserved it (13051)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML

#15616538
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19283) - you deserved it (53130)

On 04/03/2011 at 3:02am - misc - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had such a violent coughing fit that my stomach emptied itself all over the floor while at my sales job. FML

#15500531
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26813) - you deserved it (2789)

On 03/26/2011 at 4:54pm - work - by burntloyalty - United States

Today, eating my weight in breadsticks at Olive Garden and trying to relive my childhood via a pogo stick was not a good combination. My new shoes are now a different color. FML

#15297334
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6859) - you deserved it (33415)

On 03/13/2011 at 8:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend said "It's funny how every time we have sex I'm wearing these panties." We've been having sex every day for the last six days. FML

#15002281
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46818) - you deserved it (6393)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Lovenem (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML

#14842863
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24783) - you deserved it (6345)

On 02/04/2011 at 7:05pm - misc - by nosleep (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48066) - you deserved it (3947) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, I found out apparently I sleep walk. My boyfriend has been filming me and uploading it all to Youtube. FML

#14356668
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26090) - you deserved it (3988)

On 12/27/2010 at 12:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, my girlfriend got a great idea for her history class project... while we were having sex. FML

#14040303
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25869) - you deserved it (6320)

On 11/30/2010 at 8:52pm - intimacy - by erpuchi (man) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I was at work, when I got bored and started spinning around in my chair for a little fun. As I was spinning, I went to grab my phone. I missed and sent my phone flying, hitting my coworker in the face. My boss witnessed the whole thing. FML

#13577689
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6993) - you deserved it (32141)

On 10/24/2010 at 3:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)



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