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Tortuga187

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Tortuga187

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 April 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1163
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Tortuga187's page activity

Visits<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 12:42pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 10:52am<b>JamieLT</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 6:45pm<b>keepkeep</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 9:25pm<b>Coop817</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 9:35am

Tortuga187's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Tortuga187's badges

Tortuga187's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML

#20147165
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9018) - you deserved it (25551)

On 11/04/2012 at 11:37am - money - by fnfantastic - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend invited me over to "play with his lizard." After excitedly rushing across town, I realized this wasn't a euphemism, he actually bought an Iguana. FML

#20068225
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11227) - you deserved it (24053)

On 09/11/2012 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Iguana (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, after years of bad blood, my husband decided to invite his parents to dinner. After making rude remarks about my pregnancy, his dad eventually muttered that I'm a slut. My husband punched him, his wife called the police, and now I'm all alone while he sits in a jail cell for battery. FML

#20030486
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27461) - you deserved it (1591)

On 08/19/2012 at 7:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

#20027548
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37903) - you deserved it (2197)

On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

#20011677
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6430) - you deserved it (46753)

On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML

#19956706
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32832) - you deserved it (3272)

On 07/18/2012 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by Awkward - United States (California)

Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML

#19911168
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55269) - you deserved it (2456)

On 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm - love - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while waiting for a bus, someone started smoking at the bus shelter, which is illegal in my city. I politely asked him to stop smoking, citing the city ordinance. He just cackled and said that if I'm so concerned about the state of my health, I should start by losing 90 pounds. FML

#19749863
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17813) - you deserved it (34260)

On 06/07/2012 at 1:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home to find a note on my door from the neighbor saying "I saw a coyote eat your dog, but was afraid it was rabid." FML

#19640596
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27836) - you deserved it (2227)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:22am - animals - by nick - United States

Today, I learned that lemonade and urine look very similar to one another. I also learned that they taste very different. FML

#19183554
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15168) - you deserved it (20438)

On 02/28/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by iVaughtTV - United States (Indiana)

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15759) - you deserved it (29104)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML

#18781684
529 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30063) - you deserved it (53444)

On 01/12/2012 at 12:36am - love - by Nate (man) - United States

Today, I was working on the computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eye patch in a couple of days. FML

#18549843
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29339) - you deserved it (2230)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:03am - health - by suhleedah18 - United States

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

#18444351
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33201) - you deserved it (2802)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by Rash (woman) - United States (New York)



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