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Tortuga187's FML badges
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Tortuga187's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML
by fnfantastic / 11/04/2012 at 11:37am / United States (Indiana) / Money
by Iguana / 09/11/2012 at 10:35pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Intimacy
Today, after years of bad blood, my husband decided to invite his parents to dinner. After making rude remarks about my pregnancy, his dad eventually muttered that I'm a slut. My husband punched him, his wife called the police, and now I'm all alone while he sits in a jail cell for battery. FML
by Anonymous / 08/19/2012 at 7:25pm / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Health
Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML
by feelsterrible / 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Awkward / 07/18/2012 at 10:15pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by moodyreallyrocks / 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
Today, while waiting for a bus, someone started smoking at the bus shelter, which is illegal in my city. I politely asked him to stop smoking, citing the city ordinance. He just cackled and said that if I'm so concerned about the state of my health, I should start by losing 90 pounds. FML
by Anonymous / 06/07/2012 at 1:42pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by nick / 05/18/2012 at 3:22am / United States / Animals
Today, I was having a hard time waking up. When I sat down for breakfast, my chair rocked backwards. I reflexively grabbed out at something to hold on to. Unfortunately, I grabbed the cereal box that was on the table. FML
by Fillifilo / 04/18/2012 at 12:38am / France / Miscellaneous
by iVaughtTV / 02/28/2012 at 5:44pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML
by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by Nate / 01/12/2012 at 12:36am / United States / Love
Today, I was working on the computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eye patch in a couple of days. FML
by suhleedah18 / 12/19/2011 at 12:03am / United States / Health
by Rash / 12/06/2011 at 11:54am / United States (New York) / Animals
- Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted…