Tiwuz

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Tiwuz

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2226
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Tiwuz : I have no life, so fuck it.

My life consists of writing something over and over for an hour, and then eventually not posting it.

Addicting to modding! Almost always on. I don't know if that's useful for you to know... probably not.

Tiwuz's page activity

Visits<b>Fiffy</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 4:25pm<b>TEZZ</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 5:52pm<b>ApexReaper</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 11:05am<b>SydneyGrey</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 8:39pm<b>megnog</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 12:41am<b>deathlumpzx3</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 3:56pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 01/17/2013 at 4:48pm<b>NekoZombie</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 6:08am<b>PinkKawaiiChic</b> - the 12/20/2012 at 10:44am<b>kiwi2006</b> - the 10/22/2012 at 11:35am<b>Yunadori</b> - the 10/11/2012 at 8:08pm<b>outoftown</b> - the 09/29/2012 at 8:39pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 09/18/2012 at 11:52am<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 09/13/2012 at 4:34pm<b>trqskq</b> - the 08/29/2012 at 11:20am<b>Baustigt</b> - the 08/28/2012 at 11:21am<b>llamafish</b> - the 08/27/2012 at 1:49pm

Tiwuz's FML badges

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Seen it!

You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

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Tiwuz's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/15/2012 at 7:40am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving out to a concert I've been excited about for months. I was using my GPS to guide me to the venue. It decided to guide me to an abandoned warehouse in the middle of town. FML

by Anonymous / 08/15/2012 at 2:18am / United States / Transportation

Today, I witnessed my girlfriend and best "friend" getting intimate. In a dim-witted attempt to cover up, my best friend proclaimed, "This isn't what it looks like!" I might have given him the benefit of the doubt, had he not still been inside my girlfriend at the time. FML

by Anonymous / 08/15/2012 at 12:04am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend I love her and that I never want us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2012 at 8:12pm / United States / Love

Today, my fiancée showed me her wedding plans. It will be themed on one of her video games, the best man will be dressed as an alien warlord, and the vows talk about how we'll beat the odds and be blessed by the "Goddess Kalahira". Apparently, I have no say in this. FML

by cestquoicebordel?? / 08/14/2012 at 6:50pm / France / Love

Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML

by happybirthday / 08/12/2012 at 1:49am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

by diggingaplotforone / 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML

by dafuqdidihear / 08/11/2012 at 2:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I accidentally sprayed some perfume in my eye. After rinsing said burning eye with water for a few minutes, I half-blindly grabbed the eyedrops my sister left on the counter and used some. They were actually tea tree oil drops. Ouch. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

by dumbasdogshit / 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, after much debate, my husband convinced me to let his scumbag brother babysit our seven-year-old son while we went out to a restaurant. When we got home, we found him teaching our son how to pick the lock to our liquor cabinet. My husband is unapologetic. FML

by shira512 / 08/10/2012 at 7:59pm / United Kingdom (Havering) / Kids

Today, my new boss, the CEO's son, finally showed up for work, three days late and right after lunch break. His first order of business was to call a meeting and scream at everyone for not having a diet latte waiting for him on his desk. God help us all. FML

by SHIIIIITTTT / 08/10/2012 at 7:16pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, the summer camp I work at had its annual scavenger hunt, wherein the counselors hide and the kids look for us. It was my first year there, so some of my colleagues showed me the "best hiding spot." Two hours later, still undiscovered, I realized they just wanted to get rid of me. FML

by nalathelionqueen / 08/10/2012 at 6:44pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend, who I've loved and dated for over a year, confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow. All this time, she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her "social status" and make her guy friends horny. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2012 at 6:06pm / Thailand (Krung Thep) / Love

Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML

by Darth Vomitus / 08/10/2012 at 2:54pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love