About TiffanyBlews27 : I'm 17 & I am fully, 100% in love with my girlfriend! Um... I have magenta hair!! So talk to me! I don't bite :D
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24207) - you deserved it (2275)
On 02/15/2011 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by bitchasaurusrex (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28948) - you deserved it (3497)
On 12/25/2010 at 2:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I went to get my hair highlighted at the salon. The salonist mixed up my blonde hair dye with some other girl's hot pink and violet dye. Now I look like a cheap hooker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23707) - you deserved it (3762)
On 11/22/2010 at 4:14pm - misc - by linda (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, there was an animal rummaging around in my trashcan, so I kicked the trashcan to see what it was. The fox then chased me for three blocks to find out what I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7214) - you deserved it (17623)
On 11/09/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16495) - you deserved it (46689)
On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I lost my virginity. I also found out that if I have a powerful enough orgasm, I am launched into a lengthy and uncontrollable sneezing fit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23796) - you deserved it (2859)
On 11/06/2010 at 10:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out a 6-month pregnant woman is claiming my boyfriend to be the father. Even though this would have been previous to our relationship, he already has two kids from getting girls pregnant in high school. I guess he didn't learn his lesson the first two times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18219) - you deserved it (11018)
On 11/03/2010 at 11:16pm - love - by bummed (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, after taking my jacket off at work, I found a large faint stain all across one side of my shirt. Turns out that my fiancé had used it to "clean up the bed." I am the manager of a supermarket with 40 employees. It was pretty obvious what it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17487) - you deserved it (3550)
On 11/01/2010 at 1:24pm - intimacy - by grimatwork (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, after taking my jacket off at work, I found a large faint stain all across one side of my shirt. Turns out that my fiancé had used it to "clean up the bed." I am the manager of a supermarket with 40 employees. It was pretty obvious what it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17487) - you deserved it (3550)
On 11/01/2010 at 1:24pm - intimacy - by grimatwork (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, I got into a car accident. While getting my things out of the car to bring into the tow truck, I noticed the handcuffs from my Halloween costume were still in the trunk. The tow truck driver noticed before I did, because he smiled, winked, and asked if I needed any more help. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16004) - you deserved it (3709)
On 10/31/2010 at 5:27pm - intimacy - by jo1429 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got into a car accident. While getting my things out of the car to bring into the tow truck, I noticed the handcuffs from my Halloween costume were still in the trunk. The tow truck driver noticed before I did, because he smiled, winked, and asked if I needed any more help. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16004) - you deserved it (3709)
On 10/31/2010 at 5:27pm - intimacy - by jo1429 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend got mugged. I found out because the mugger had the courtesy to ring me, after I texted several times asking where he was, to say "He won't reply. He got robbed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23825) - you deserved it (2050)
On 10/29/2010 at 2:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23984) - you deserved it (4635)
On 10/29/2010 at 1:48am - intimacy - by ohmylordy (man) - United States (California)
Today, I decided to put on my Halloween make-up to be sure that I could and that it would look nice. I was satisfied with my results, and went to wash it off. Everything came off fine, except for the eye liner and eye shadow. It's bright purple. I'm a man. Halloween isn't until Sunday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10138) - you deserved it (23719)
On 10/27/2010 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymes with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23010) - you deserved it (2138)
On 10/27/2010 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by nothingdoes (woman) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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