About ThexVengence : Just a lollypop triple dipped in psyco.
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ThexVengence's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up to an angry and threatening email from a porn company. Apparently, I took a sleeping pill last night and wrote a nasty email to the company about how they mistreat women. The best part: I used a web contact form instead of an email, so I have absolutely no idea what I wrote. FML
by damn you Ambien / 08/03/2016 at 1:48am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm recovering from a brain injury that occurred a few months ago. The newest challenge I'm facing is thinking the floor is moving any time there is a change in colour or texture. My house has patterned tile floors and carpet. FML
by Anonymous / 03/14/2016 at 7:41pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by cutiecuppiecakez / 02/29/2016 at 4:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/13/2016 at 11:13am / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, while working at a gas station, I accidentally changed the price of gas to 8.9 cents per litre. It took me fifteen minutes to figure out why everyone wanted only two or three dollars of gas. I fixed it, but now my managers are debating charging me for lost revenue. FML
by Ihadnoidea / 12/12/2015 at 2:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I woke up to a cat licking my face. I don't have a cat. I quickly put the cat out the front door and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I remembered that I had agreed to take care of my sister's cat for a week. I looked out the door, but the cat is nowhere to be found. FML
by introublenow / 09/18/2015 at 8:22am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by thatguy8878 / 06/26/2015 at 4:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML
by Anonymous / 06/19/2015 at 3:00pm / United States / Animals
Today, the 4-year-old I was babysitting came up to me all happy, saying she went to the bathroom like a "big girl". Knowing she was just potty trained, I asked if she'd remembered to flush. Looking at me confused, she said, "But it's in my room." FML
by AdoKitty / 06/10/2015 at 11:04pm / United States (California) / Kids
by sassy_girl144 / 05/29/2015 at 6:58am / United Kingdom (West Berkshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML
by morphea / 04/29/2015 at 6:54pm / France (Bretagne) / Animals
by Anonymous / 03/07/2015 at 3:14pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals
by poncho55 / 02/21/2015 at 3:28pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/21/2015 at 10:12am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, I was doing a shit load of sit-ups on my mattress. After realizing the bed was squeaking, I… Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He… Today, I had sex with my fiancée. My panties fell behind the bed. Later, when I went to get them, I…