Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ThexVengence

Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member

ThexVengence

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 557
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About ThexVengence : Just a lollypop triple dipped in psyco.

ThexVengence's page activity

Visits<b>grandpeepa</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 8:30pm<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 8:38pm<b>RyoRyo</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 3:25pm<b>mnie</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 8:22am<b>iMeowchu</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 9:53am<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 11:24pm<b>kingcheese</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 8:08pm<b>RockingRocker</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 7:22pm<b>AnnCamille04</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 6:39pm<b>CHUBBYninja</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 3:45pm<b>poor_gurll1198</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 3:08pm<b>_Volt_</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 3:05pm<b>gAt_d</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 11:11am<b>Ebola</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 10:00am<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 8:57am<b>armorman86</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 8:43am<b>2villa1</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 5:27am<b>ThatsMyPie</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 2:45am

ThexVengence's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of ThexVengence's badges

ThexVengence's favorite FMLs

Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML

#21230823
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38840) - you deserved it (3221)

On 08/06/2014 at 9:21am - kids - by We raised that fool (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man, and that my ass was grounds for discussion." FML

#21222536
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39974) - you deserved it (4313)

On 07/27/2014 at 10:54pm - misc - by tlm84 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got rear-ended because my ultra-clingy girlfriend wouldn't let go of my hand long enough for me to shift gears. FML

#21220481
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42534) - you deserved it (9851)

On 07/25/2014 at 5:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43225) - you deserved it (7911)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

#21182978
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39650) - you deserved it (4757)

On 06/21/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML

#21168476
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34841) - you deserved it (8484)

On 06/09/2014 at 5:45pm - animals - by jaqen h'garrrhghhgfgjhfuck (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I finished building a porch I've worked hard on for the past 2 weeks, and I was very proud on how amazing it turned out. Within 20 minutes of it being completed, my pregnant dog decided to crawl underneath it to have her puppies. I had to take half the porch apart to get to her and them. FML

#21120370
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42761) - you deserved it (4885)

On 04/22/2014 at 10:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up again to a warm trickling sensation on my neck. It would seem my rabbit has a thing for doing his business on me to wake me up. FML

#21103637
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35486) - you deserved it (6918)

On 04/03/2014 at 12:36pm - animals - by Cali girl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML

#21097210
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39122) - you deserved it (2976)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:44pm - animals - by In urgent need of a new roommate - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

#21040159
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44547) - you deserved it (9217)

On 01/25/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by mom - United States (Texas)

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45806) - you deserved it (3624)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86082) - you deserved it (6171)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48704) - you deserved it (6365)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: