Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TheMoonMonkey

Search for a member

TheMoonMonkey

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1567
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

TheMoonMonkey's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of TheMoonMonkey's badges

TheMoonMonkey's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33969) - you deserved it (11172)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

#21214127
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29097) - you deserved it (37388)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49870) - you deserved it (6581)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML

#21200980
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44157) - you deserved it (3453)

On 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44295) - you deserved it (7055)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

#21190698
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48374) - you deserved it (6097)

On 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45868) - you deserved it (8290)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

#21179835
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54359) - you deserved it (5055)

On 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm - misc - by guest - United States (California)

Today, I got cited for "internet plagiarism" and called to the dean's office. I'd been sitting a closed-book written exam, and my teacher had been breathing down my neck the whole time. FML

#21169503
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39869) - you deserved it (3805)

On 06/10/2014 at 11:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I let my dog outside to play. He shat on three cars, played dead in the middle of the street, and chased my neighbors' cat into a pool. When he came back into the house, he had a note taped to his back saying "IOU 1 lawsuit". FML

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

#21165062
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42148) - you deserved it (6152)

On 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm - work - by confusing (man) - Zimbabwe

Today, a coworker asked me why this week's report was not uploaded to the server. I've been writing these reports once a week for a year and they take a whole day to write. Upload them to what server? FML

#21162641
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37292) - you deserved it (5682)

On 06/04/2014 at 9:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my university considered it an "embarrassment" that I was going to be the first and only person to graduate from my engineering course, so they gave free passes to two guys who hadn't finished their thesis yet. They were congratulated in the newspaper; I wasn't. FML

Today, I got married. My father saw this as a good time to give some solemn, heartfelt advice to my new husband: "That ring gets real heavy fast." I was standing right there. So was my mother. FML

#21160325
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41517) - you deserved it (4231)

On 06/02/2014 at 10:00am - love - by CorCelesti (woman) - United States

Today, a girl asked me out on a date to some hot springs, about 2 hours away. After a mile hike, the springs were finally in sight. She then slipped and cut her shin open. I had carry her the mile back and drive her the 2 hours to the ER, where her parents, whom I'd never met, were waiting. FML

#21156317
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47610) - you deserved it (4189)

On 05/29/2014 at 7:46pm - love - by jonchavez - United States (Kentucky)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: