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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I woke to find my boyfriend of 2 years gone. I saw my little sister's talking bear at the bottom of my bed, it said "squeeze me" so I squeezed it and it said "it's over." It was my boyfriends voice. I was dumped by a talking bear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69883) - you deserved it (3191)
On 04/26/2009 at 8:35am - love - by shawty_x (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)
Today, I woke to find my boyfriend of 2 years gone. I saw my little sister's talking bear at the bottom of my bed, it said "squeeze me" so I squeezed it and it said "it's over." It was my boyfriends voice. I was dumped by a talking bear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69883) - you deserved it (3191)
On 04/26/2009 at 8:35am - love - by shawty_x (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)
Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (107166) - you deserved it (10681)
On 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm - health - by Litterbox (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57781) - you deserved it (8767)
On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML
I agree, your life sucks (80001) - you deserved it (21095)
On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was in IKEA, furniture shopping with my dad. He was looking at one couch that was particularly small. I said "dad that couch is for like a midget." I look over to see a midget looking at me, sitting on the same couch in a different color. He definitely heard me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21573) - you deserved it (48811)
On 04/04/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML
I agree, your life sucks (87946) - you deserved it (3785)
On 03/30/2009 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (188626) - you deserved it (21065)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went on Facebook to find that my little brother had messed with my profile. He wrote on my status that I'm a piece of shit, I have no life, and several other nasty and perverted things. Underneath, it said 26 of my friends liked this. I'm new to Facebook. So far I have 26 friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48645) - you deserved it (6197)
On 03/20/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by noname (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45996) - you deserved it (14323)
On 03/20/2009 at 11:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45996) - you deserved it (14323)
On 03/20/2009 at 11:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and was knocking on the door asking "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answers, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (72010) - you deserved it (11575)
On 03/19/2009 at 2:05am - intimacy - by Zoe123 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML
I agree, your life sucks (58674) - you deserved it (21117)
On 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while, and my dad said, "honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56085) - you deserved it (17175)
On 03/12/2009 at 3:49pm - health - by mugs (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML
I agree, your life sucks (83341) - you deserved it (15536)
On 03/07/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Cody (man) - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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