Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TheKitchenSink

Search for a member

TheKitchenSink

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 June 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 18692
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

TheKitchenSink's page activity

Visits<b>annie29</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 8:08pm<b>bigmad50</b> - the 05/12/2009 at 7:43pm<b>Ripleyboarder</b> - the 05/12/2009 at 5:52pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 05/12/2009 at 4:21pm<b>username666</b> - the 04/20/2009 at 10:44pm<b>56578</b> - the 04/19/2009 at 9:39pm

TheKitchenSink's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

TheKitchenSink's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke to find my boyfriend of 2 years gone. I saw my little sister's talking bear at the bottom of my bed, it said "squeeze me" so I squeezed it and it said "it's over." It was my boyfriends voice. I was dumped by a talking bear. FML

#1349405
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79317) - you deserved it (4342)

On 04/26/2009 at 8:35am - love - by shawty_x (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)

Today, I woke to find my boyfriend of 2 years gone. I saw my little sister's talking bear at the bottom of my bed, it said "squeeze me" so I squeezed it and it said "it's over." It was my boyfriends voice. I was dumped by a talking bear. FML

#1349405
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79317) - you deserved it (4342)

On 04/26/2009 at 8:35am - love - by shawty_x (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

#877965
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65302) - you deserved it (10929)

On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90788) - you deserved it (27056)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in IKEA, furniture shopping with my dad. He was looking at one couch that was particularly small. I said "dad that couch is for like a midget." I look over to see a midget looking at me, sitting on the same couch in a different color. He definitely heard me. FML

#809473
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25173) - you deserved it (61468)

On 04/04/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML

#711978
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101204) - you deserved it (5266)

On 03/30/2009 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (241751) - you deserved it (31685)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went on Facebook to find that my little brother had messed with my profile. He wrote on my status that I'm a piece of shit, I have no life, and several other nasty and perverted things. Underneath, it said 26 of my friends liked this. I'm new to Facebook. So far I have 26 friends. FML

#492068
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55194) - you deserved it (7656)

On 03/20/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by noname (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML

#487098
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51768) - you deserved it (15805)

On 03/20/2009 at 11:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML

#487098
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51768) - you deserved it (15805)

On 03/20/2009 at 11:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and was knocking on the door asking "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answers, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML

#459925
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82054) - you deserved it (15015)

On 03/19/2009 at 2:05am - intimacy - by Zoe123 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML

#305736
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66257) - you deserved it (26862)

On 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while; my dad said, "Honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML

#284763
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63265) - you deserved it (21328)

On 03/12/2009 at 3:49pm - health - by mugs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML

#234028
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94746) - you deserved it (18586)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Cody (man) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: