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TheCerealKiller

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TheCerealKiller

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TheCerealKillerTheCerealKiller
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 October 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1374
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 29 posted

About TheCerealKiller : I am a serial cereal killer.

TheCerealKiller's page activity

Visits<b>ashley7x</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 12:27pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 6:18am<b>murtaza95</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 5:59am<b>raven83</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 1:39pm<b>Imacutiez</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 3:02pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 5:11pm<b>aspenmoon</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 2:36am<b>tagallopes</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 6:48am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 9:02pm<b>cohenb93</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 6:58am<b>guskta</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:30am<b>buckydargon</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 2:52pm<b>happyjesus</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 5:12pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 5:36pm<b>jazzmin1997</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 7:01am<b>Iniezian</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 3:20am<b>Wrex</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 6:50am<b>Pstraka6</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 2:47am

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TheCerealKiller's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

#2103981
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18737) - you deserved it (88266)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in line for Star Trek and chatting with another couple about a guy who came to the movie wearing a Starfleet uniform. We were having a good snicker about this "Geek" until my cell phone rang. My ringtone is the sound made by the Star Trek communicator. FML

#1869680
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6675) - you deserved it (76550)

On 05/12/2009 at 10:11am - misc - by Ottawa (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML

#1409707
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109074) - you deserved it (8544)

On 04/27/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by seriouslywtf (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was petting my cat when my new mood ring turned bright purple. I checked the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, sexy, and passionate." According to my ring, I'm hot for my cat. FML

#1070820
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41845) - you deserved it (15388)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by shutupandsmile18 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML

#981592
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95379) - you deserved it (39013)

On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML

#487098
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51999) - you deserved it (15860)

On 03/20/2009 at 11:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw my boyfriend for the last time for two years. When we got back from dinner, we sat in his truck for a little while to talk. A few minutes later, my mom comes flying out of my house screaming, "Satan is here, and he is tempting you!" That is the last memory he will have of me. FML

#458180
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83111) - you deserved it (4542)

On 03/19/2009 at 12:42am - love - by Fwick (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

#280211
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33240) - you deserved it (96931)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:07am - health - by lolzor (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML

#249390
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54217) - you deserved it (3959)

On 03/09/2009 at 2:15am - work - by unsatisfied (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimers. FML

#117948
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44950) - you deserved it (7022)

On 02/23/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by Originality18 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

#38789
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48197) - you deserved it (7837)

On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was pestering a co-worker, so she jokingly stated "I'll bury you!" and I replied "I'll bury your mom!". Her moms funeral was last week. FML

#34420
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13099) - you deserved it (44012)

On 02/12/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by idkmybffjill? (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, My boyfriend dumped me because he said the relationship was too tough for him. When I asked for an example he responded "Like, I don't have enough time to play World of WarCraft." FML

#34266
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47406) - you deserved it (7317)

On 02/12/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got in a huge fight with my mom. So, I went to my room and locked myself in there and played loud music so I didn't have to hear her. She then decides to yell at me over facebook. Shortly after, I log out of Facebook. She then starts yelling at me on Yahoo. Damn technology. FML

#3491
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11104) - you deserved it (23581)

On 01/29/2009 at 7:45pm - misc - by blarg - United States (Illinois)



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