TheCerealKiller

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TheCerealKiller

24Fucked!

TheCerealKiller
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 October 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2462
  • Number of comments : 126
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 38 posted

About TheCerealKiller : I am a serial cereal killer.

TheCerealKiller's page activity

Visits<b>OmgimBored</b> - 23 hours ago<b>wafflelover</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 5:55pm<b>sammy011</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 8:02pm<b>TheAspieDork</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 11:38am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 12:06am<b>TheOneButNotOnly</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 3:30pm<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 1:38pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 5:56am<b>zr11990</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 1:17am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 8:11pm<b>AcidBurn84</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 12:27pm<b>dman30</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 10:02am<b>dcam13</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 4:10am<b>edmunson</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 12:50am<b>brittanyleann72</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 11:39pm<b>marshm610</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 11:38pm<b>BenHalf</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 10:49pm<b>Tenker</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 10:47pm

Fucked!<b>wafflelover</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 3:52pm<b>TheOneButNotOnly</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 9:30pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 11:56am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 2:11am<b>dcam13</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 10:11am<b>Tenker</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 4:47am<b>nicolai44</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 4:42am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 7:12pm<b>pratikp03</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 3:45pm<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 1:56pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 12:50pm<b>fastman19</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 12:36pm<b>JusstJef</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 11:12am<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 11:00pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 1:32am<b>arano</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 5:04pm<b>Candygrl987</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 12:41am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 10:26pm

TheCerealKiller's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of TheCerealKiller's badges

TheCerealKiller's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

by Takuma / 05/20/2009 at 1:10am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was in line for Star Trek and chatting with another couple about a guy who came to the movie wearing a Starfleet uniform. We were having a good snicker about this "Geek" until my cell phone rang. My ringtone is the sound made by the Star Trek communicator. FML

by Ottawa / 05/12/2009 at 10:11am / Canada (Ontario) / Geek

Today, I paid $60 for a haircut from a professional stylist, only to walk out looking like Spock from Star Trek. The worst part was the stylist asked me, "Hey, are you going to see that new Star Trek movie?" and tried to talk me into watching it. Now, wherever I go, people are giving me the 'live long and prosper' sign. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2009 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML

by seriouslywtf / 04/27/2009 at 11:06pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was petting my cat when my new mood ring turned bright purple. I checked the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, sexy, and passionate." According to my ring, I'm hot for my cat. FML

by shutupandsmile18 / 04/17/2009 at 10:32pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML

by Anonymous / 03/20/2009 at 11:07am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my boyfriend for the last time for two years. When we got back from dinner, we sat in his truck for a little while to talk. A few minutes later, my mom comes flying out of my house screaming, "Satan is here, and he is tempting you!" That is the last memory he will have of me. FML

by Fwick / 03/19/2009 at 12:42am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

by lolzor / 03/12/2009 at 8:07am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML

by unsatisfied / 03/09/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimers. FML

by Originality18 / 02/23/2009 at 9:22pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

by Shamu / 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pestering a co-worker, so she jokingly stated "I'll bury you!" and I replied "I'll bury your mom!". Her moms funeral was last week. FML

by idkmybffjill? / 02/12/2009 at 11:12pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he said the relationship was too tough for him. When I asked for an example, he responded, "Like, I don't have enough time to play World of Warcraft." FML

by Noname / 02/12/2009 at 10:46pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I got in a huge fight with my mom. So, I went to my room and locked myself in there and played loud music so I didn't have to hear her. She then decides to yell at me over facebook. Shortly after, I log out of Facebook. She then starts yelling at me on Yahoo. Damn technology. FML

by blarg / 01/29/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML

by Mateo / 12/13/2008 at 10:58pm / Intimacy