About Thecerealkiller
I am a serial cereal killer.
Thecerealkiller - Followers
Thecerealkiller - Followed
Thecerealkiller's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • Back from the party

    An FML submitted between 5 and 6 a.m. can't be very good.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • I’m your new creative director

    You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
  • Night owl

    You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
  • Inception

    You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return, you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
  • I like your style

    You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!
  • The Mixer

    You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
  • What'ch'all looking at?

    You have put three pictures on your profile, but not necessarily pictures of your profile.
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
  • Supersize Menu

    You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    32%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    12%
  • Santa Claus

    You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
    33%
  • 42

    See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
    0%
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
    24%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    4%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    21%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    2%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    5%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    7%
The list of badges to find
Thecerealkiller's favorite FMLs

Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML

By Mateo / Sunday 14 December 2008 03:58 / France

Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 13 March 2014 09:34 / Australia

Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML

By disgusted - / Thursday 4 October 2012 23:24 / United States - Clarksville

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

By Anonymous / Wednesday 3 October 2012 16:29 / United States - Santee

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 2 October 2012 05:01 / United States