TheCerealKiller

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Offline (the 08/24/2016 at 7:58pm)

TheCerealKiller

24Fucked!

TheCerealKiller
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 October 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2738
  • Number of comments : 126
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 38 posted

About TheCerealKiller : I am a serial cereal killer.

TheCerealKiller's page activity

Visits<b>JulietMarie</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 9:13pm<b>OmgimBored</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 1:01am<b>wafflelover</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 5:55pm<b>sammy011</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 8:02pm<b>TheAspieDork</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 11:38am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 12:06am<b>TheOneButNotOnly</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 3:30pm<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 1:38pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 5:56am<b>zr11990</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 1:17am<b>AcidBurn84</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 12:27pm<b>dman30</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 10:02am<b>dcam13</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 4:10am<b>edmunson</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 12:50am<b>brittanyleann72</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 11:39pm<b>marshm610</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 11:38pm<b>BenHalf</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 10:49pm<b>Tenker</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 10:47pm

Fucked!<b>wafflelover</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 3:52pm<b>TheOneButNotOnly</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 9:30pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 11:56am<b>dcam13</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 10:11am<b>Tenker</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 4:47am<b>nicolai44</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 4:42am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 7:12pm<b>pratikp03</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 3:45pm<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 1:56pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 12:50pm<b>fastman19</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 12:36pm<b>JusstJef</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 11:12am<b>Envy22</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 1:32am<b>arano</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 5:04pm<b>Candygrl987</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 12:41am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 10:26pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 6:17pm<b>ReverseCarb</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 6:10pm

TheCerealKiller's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of TheCerealKiller's badges

TheCerealKiller's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

by annonymous / 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

by IB6UB9 / 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm / United States / Love

Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML

by homewrecker / 11/08/2009 at 10:39am / United States / Love

Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2009 at 4:03am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, I told my dad that for Halloween I'm going to be an '80s workout Barbie. He just looks at me and says, "Yeah as the 'before' picture". FML

by freshman15 / 10/22/2009 at 2:47pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend told me he always thought the female orgasm was an urban legend. FML

by 310 / 10/09/2009 at 2:42am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my dad to pick me up from school, he said he couldn't. Why? he was busy playing world of warcraft for the night. I got to walk the 3 hours home while my 49 year old dad played computer games. FML

by stupid / 09/14/2009 at 10:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML

by Girl / 08/18/2009 at 8:23pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

by gbhlaughingstock / 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I just found out my dad got remarried a year ago. The woman is officially living with us, I got to have lunch with her alone today. I found out she is only 22, with a 14 year old little brother. My dad's 47. I'm 17, now with a 14 year old uncle and a mom that can pass for my girlfriend. FML

by Beefballs / 07/29/2009 at 2:22am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find my dad crying. Turns out my parents are getting divorced because my mom had an affair. With a teacher at my school. A female teacher. And the school isn't going to fire her because she's a good teacher. Every day at school I'm going to have to see her. FML

by mylifereallyISeffed / 07/22/2009 at 6:43am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, while walking in the mall, I had two people race past me in wheelchairs. Thinking they were racing, I started rooting for the one guy that was ahead. Turns out his wheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help. He then slammed and fell into the water fountain. FML

by meantowheels / 06/20/2009 at 10:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I decided to get a little frisky in bed. After we were done we lay spent on our bed then only to hear weird noises coming from our doorway. To our surprise not only had our daughter taken her first steps but has been watching and now making the noises as well. FML

by PreciousIve / 06/09/2009 at 11:36am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.