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TheCerealKiller

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TheCerealKiller

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TheCerealKillerTheCerealKiller
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 October 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1561
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About TheCerealKiller : I am a serial cereal killer.

TheCerealKiller's page activity

Visits<b>3051628</b> - 45 minutes ago<b>bigRED96</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 8:01pm<b>capnbzarr</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 5:57pm<b>dontneedtoknowme</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 6:55am<b>ashley7x</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 12:27pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 6:18am<b>murtaza95</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 5:59am<b>raven83</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 1:39pm<b>Imacutiez</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 3:02pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 5:11pm<b>aspenmoon</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 2:36am<b>tagallopes</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 6:48am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 9:02pm<b>cohenb93</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 6:58am<b>guskta</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:30am<b>buckydargon</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 2:52pm<b>happyjesus</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 5:12pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 5:36pm

Liked!<b>capnbzarr</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 11:57pm

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TheCerealKiller's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45870) - you deserved it (2985)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

#6494130
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59994) - you deserved it (6406)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States

Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML

#6480683
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8632) - you deserved it (43275)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML

#6210144
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76152) - you deserved it (6012)

On 11/08/2009 at 10:39am - love - by homewrecker - United States

Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML

#6036159
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33487) - you deserved it (7138)

On 10/28/2009 at 4:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I told my dad that for Halloween I'm going to be an '80s workout Barbie. He just looks at me and says, "Yeah as the 'before' picture". FML

Today, my boyfriend told me he always thought the female orgasm was an urban legend. FML

#5735053
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22703) - you deserved it (3618)

On 10/09/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by 310 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my dad to pick me up from school, he said he couldn't. Why? he was busy playing world of warcraft for the night. I got to walk the 3 hours home while my 49 year old dad played computer games. FML

#5263427
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43085) - you deserved it (4221)

On 09/14/2009 at 10:56pm - misc - by stupid (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML

#4637795
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56740) - you deserved it (4710)

On 08/18/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Girl - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116992) - you deserved it (8826)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I just found out my dad got remarried a year ago. The woman is officially living with us, I got to have lunch with her alone today. I found out she is only 22, with a 14 year old little brother. My dad's 47. I'm 17, now with a 14 year old uncle and a mom that can pass for my girlfriend. FML

#4126370
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53106) - you deserved it (2656)

On 07/29/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by Beefballs (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21994) - you deserved it (53649)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I came home to find my dad crying. Turns out my parents are getting divorced because my mom had an affair. With a teacher at my school. A female teacher. And the school isn't going to fire her because she's a good teacher. Every day at school I'm going to have to see her. FML

#3949695
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72747) - you deserved it (3513)

On 07/22/2009 at 6:43am - love - by mylifereallyISeffed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband and I decided to get a little frisky in bed. After we were done we lay spent on our bed then only to hear weird noises coming from our doorway. To our surprise not only had our daughter taken her first steps but has been watching and now making the noises as well. FML



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