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TheCerealKiller

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TheCerealKiller

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TheCerealKillerTheCerealKiller
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 October 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1456
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About TheCerealKiller : I am a serial cereal killer.

TheCerealKiller's page activity

Visits<b>dontneedtoknowme</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 6:55am<b>ashley7x</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 12:27pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 6:18am<b>murtaza95</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 5:59am<b>raven83</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 1:39pm<b>Imacutiez</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 3:02pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 5:11pm<b>aspenmoon</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 2:36am<b>tagallopes</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 6:48am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 9:02pm<b>cohenb93</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 6:58am<b>guskta</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:30am<b>buckydargon</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 2:52pm<b>happyjesus</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 5:12pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 5:36pm<b>jazzmin1997</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 7:01am<b>Iniezian</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 3:20am<b>Wrex</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 6:50am

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TheCerealKiller's favorite FMLs

Today, my professor's son died in a car accident and class has been cancelled until further notice. All my friends were delighted and cheered about it in front of me. I was dating my professor's son. FML

#14922394
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (127164) - you deserved it (5543)

On 02/10/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43435) - you deserved it (7947)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49160) - you deserved it (4003) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML

#14169295
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31725) - you deserved it (7846)

On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was showing my Mom how to use the Internet on her phone. As there was bad reception, it said "Unexpected Failure." Seeing it, she muttered under her breath, "Just like you, then..." FML

#13937046
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29268) - you deserved it (2698)

On 11/22/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by unexpected_failure (man) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I slipped on the wet floor at work and sprained my wrist badly. I was carrying the wet floor sign so no one would slip. FML

#11852475
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31916) - you deserved it (6539)

On 07/13/2010 at 2:28pm - work - by babygirllxo - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML

#10433872
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36813) - you deserved it (9494)

On 05/09/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by imustbegay - United States

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

#8805170
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8585) - you deserved it (26601)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that my husband has a video games addiction. I am currently pregnant; he brought us to the same country he's in so we can finally live together, only for me to witness him being glued to his laptop all day and all night playing WoW. He's forgotten I even existed. FML

#8510953
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25927) - you deserved it (5207)

On 02/21/2010 at 8:36am - misc - by sasquatch21 (woman) - Bahrain (Al Manamah)

Today, while serving a rather large party at the restaurant where I work, I mentioned that the soup of the day was "to die for". After the hosts gave me weird looks, it dawned on me that the reason they were wearing all black is because they've just come back from a funeral. FML

#8372297
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23985) - you deserved it (10503)

On 02/17/2010 at 11:32am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39275) - you deserved it (3457)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, when setting up for a rehearsal, my eldest teacher was standing next to me. My music teacher announces that it will be a tight fit and hard for everyone to fit in the area. The old teacher next to me leans over and whispers, "I'd like to fit in your tight area." FML

#8153537
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27890) - you deserved it (2344)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by pinky (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was skiing really fast and there was a sign saying 'Slow Down'. Feeling rather good about myself I decided to jump over the sign. Whilst jumping, however, I caught my ski tips on the sign and went face first into the ground. Hard. FML

#7653625
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4662) - you deserved it (47867)

On 01/28/2010 at 9:01pm - health - by Skier (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML

#7482237
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51307) - you deserved it (4078)

On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened I slipped and fell in the shower and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered "Well, she is masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!". FML

#6998610
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25851) - you deserved it (2695)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by notexactly (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)



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