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TheCerealKiller

Offline (16 hours ago) | Search for a member

TheCerealKiller

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 October 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1301
  • Number of comments : 112
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 28 posted

About TheCerealKiller : I am a serial cereal killer.

TheCerealKiller's page activity

Visits<b>Imacutiez</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 3:02pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 5:11pm<b>aspenmoon</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 2:36am<b>tagallopes</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 6:48am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 9:02pm<b>cohenb93</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 6:58am<b>guskta</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:30am<b>buckydargon</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 2:52pm<b>happyjesus</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 5:12pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 5:36pm<b>jazzmin1997</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 7:01am<b>Iniezian</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 3:20am<b>Wrex</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 6:50am<b>Pstraka6</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 2:47am<b>toaster123</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 2:10pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 12:29pm<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 6:32am<b>honeymoonroyale</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 5:17am

TheCerealKiller's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of TheCerealKiller's badges

TheCerealKiller's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

#19320311
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9994) - you deserved it (61487)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML

#19260782
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24540) - you deserved it (3037)

On 03/11/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by me (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22961) - you deserved it (18526)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25460) - you deserved it (2685)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML

#18591891
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28704) - you deserved it (3425)

On 12/23/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by ThinZ (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34401) - you deserved it (6026)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML

#18067303
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43794) - you deserved it (3337)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by KaySchrages92 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32882) - you deserved it (9229)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56314) - you deserved it (5565)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML

#16892674
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41776) - you deserved it (3754)

On 06/28/2011 at 2:39am - intimacy - by girlshavepenises (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by a "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. And we continued to chat. FML

#16575897
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32875) - you deserved it (6873)

On 06/09/2011 at 9:22am - health - by IPityTheStool (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I witnessed two women in a catfight, ripping clothes off each other. This would have been great if the two women weren't my mom and my grandma. FML

#15917525
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39214) - you deserved it (3989)

On 04/25/2011 at 9:07am - misc - by Danny -

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

#15903380
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33530) - you deserved it (9595)

On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found my mother in tears, so I asked her what was wrong. She told me, "It's your father, he wants a divorce..." I asked if he'd met another woman, and my mom replied "No, not a woman..." FML

#15205288
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52410) - you deserved it (4408) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/05/2011 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous - France (Alsace)

Today, my professor's son died in a car accident and class has been cancelled until further notice. All my friends were delighted and cheered about it in front of me. I was dating my professor's son. FML

#14922394
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (126103) - you deserved it (5536)

On 02/10/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)



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