Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 11/26/2015 at 9:45am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 October 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2141
  • Number of comments : 122
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 36 posted

About TheCerealKiller : I am a serial cereal killer.

TheCerealKiller's page activity

Visits<b>destructe</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 6:52pm<b>lavapants</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 4:38am<b>Dirtydales</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 10:00pm<b>CyndiHouse3</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 7:07pm<b>shortcake18</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 3:10pm<b>MortenM</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 4:56pm<b>A07</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 2:22am<b>blackfire20</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 8:03pm<b>RA91</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 6:58pm<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 4:04pm<b>killigan</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 5:59pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 7:58pm<b>nhatt</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 7:05pm<b>0dd80d</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 10:34am<b>shea300</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 10:28am<b>dylerbiller</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 3:37am<b>Amaury56</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 3:02am<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 2:38am

Fucked!<b>Candygrl987</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 12:41am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 10:26pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 6:17pm<b>ReverseCarb</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 6:10pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 4:22pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 3:12pm<b>roman11</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 10:51am<b>capnbzarr</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 11:57pm

TheCerealKiller's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of TheCerealKiller's badges

TheCerealKiller's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, and ended up sitting next to this girl who wouldn't stop sneezing. Grossed out, I asked my boyfriend if we could switch seats. After doing so, the girl immediately stopped sneezing and started flirting with him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33647) - you deserved it (5652)

On 03/23/2012 at 3:39am - love - by Hana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11388) - you deserved it (66185)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML


I agree, your life sucks (27885) - you deserved it (3350)

On 03/11/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by me (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25750) - you deserved it (19339)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27619) - you deserved it (2883)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31190) - you deserved it (3653)

On 12/23/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by ThinZ (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38115) - you deserved it (6492)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47817) - you deserved it (3623)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by KaySchrages92 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36370) - you deserved it (9793)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML


I agree, your life sucks (59370) - you deserved it (5862)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45083) - you deserved it (4066)

On 06/28/2011 at 2:39am - intimacy - by girlshavepenises (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by a "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. And we continued to chat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36271) - you deserved it (7317)

On 06/09/2011 at 9:22am - health - by IPityTheStool (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I witnessed two women in a catfight, ripping clothes off each other. This would have been great if the two women weren't my mom and my grandma. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42611) - you deserved it (4367)

On 04/25/2011 at 9:07am - misc - by Danny -

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML


I agree, your life sucks (36163) - you deserved it (9961)

On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found my mother in tears, so I asked her what was wrong. She told me, "It's your father, he wants a divorce..." I asked if he'd met another woman, and my mom replied "No, not a woman..." FML


I agree, your life sucks (56371) - you deserved it (4734) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/05/2011 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous - France (Alsace)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: