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Thatlazydude

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Thatlazydude

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 109
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Thatlazydude : Well, essentially, I am better than you in every way. I also enjoy stalking you. I love that shirt you're wearing by the way.

Thatlazydude's FML badges

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Thatlazydude's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

#20172481
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24970) - you deserved it (5501)

On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at my son's school parked, and the driver got out. I basically leaned on my horn and gave her every dirty look in the book. She said nothing but stared at me as she opened the back of her van to unload her child's wheelchair. I'm an asshole. FML

#20172167
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8838) - you deserved it (66650)

On 11/21/2012 at 9:03am - kids - by AHole (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I yet again purposely avoided the 'Health and Fitness' section on pinterest to keep my self-esteem up. FML

#20171929
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7258) - you deserved it (14912)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:20am - health - by fatty - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked into my house with my friend, only to discover my husband half-naked and yelling at the TV screen over a soccer game. By half-naked, I mean he was only wearing a shirt. FML

#20169569
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21129) - you deserved it (2300)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my crush finally agreed to spend the night with me. I told my parents to act normal for one night. Apparently, "normal" is strutting around naked and acting like a chicken. FML

#20166401
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25396) - you deserved it (5319)

On 11/17/2012 at 8:34am - love - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)

Today, while at a red light, a guy in a tux and sunglasses doing the Gangnam Style passed over the crossing, followed by a man with a video camera. This isn't the first time I've stopped for people doing a Gangnam Style parody. FML

#20165330
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22075) - you deserved it (3432)

On 11/16/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Gangnam (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

Today, I spotted a girl I have a crush on while grocery shopping. Before I could go over and say hi, I noticed her walk over and stroke a few kitchen knives through plastic wrapping. Then I spotted her in the dog food section sniffing rawhide bones with her eyes closed, looking very happy. FML

#20165046
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20820) - you deserved it (2778)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by grocerystalker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML

#20164798
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27261) - you deserved it (2255)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm - love - by Sexting Parents - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

#20164794
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23834) - you deserved it (2770)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by needanewride - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the library using a computer to order a package. A man sat down next to me mumbling to himself while staring at me. As I got up to go to the printer, he pointed at me and screamed, "I will burn you alive and enjoy it!" All of my info including my address was still on the computer screen. FML

#20161493
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21682) - you deserved it (4576)

On 11/13/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by sarahcurtis213 - United States

Today, after working out and feeling really confident, I entered a mixed wrestling competition. My first match was against a woman who was over a foot taller than me. She managed to easily lift me over her head and toss me out of the ring within seconds. Confidence: gone. FML

#20160946
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15853) - you deserved it (6675)

On 11/12/2012 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

#20160628
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38741) - you deserved it (2697)

On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

#20072555
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24806) - you deserved it (2541)

On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a date with a guy from the Internet. I'm 6ft1, which tends to put potential dates off, so I'd slyly knocked a few inches off my description. Turns out he'd done the same. He'd added a whole foot to his height. I had to crouch to talk to him. FML

#20071299
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19525) - you deserved it (12412)

On 09/14/2012 at 4:26am - love - by TallGal (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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