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TechFire
  • Town/Country : Brooklyn, NY, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 12 January 1992 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 2794
  • Number of comments : 181
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About TechFire : Why are you here? Don't you have better things to read?

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TechFire's favorite FMLs

Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML

#14921394
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9696) - you deserved it (31989)

On 02/10/2011 at 11:09am - misc - by Jaws (man) - France (Alsace)

Today, I was leaving school to get tested for peptic ulcers, because my stomach has been hurting for a few months. To wish me luck, one of my friends gave me a friendly punch in the stomach. I threw up blood. FML

#14893456
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41712) - you deserved it (2606)

On 02/08/2011 at 7:48am - health - by soccerscout7 -

Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch. I bent over to scratch it on a piece of plywood, at which point the client's wife walked in and asked what the fuck I was doing. FML

#14892103
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7606) - you deserved it (25862)

On 02/08/2011 at 2:58am - work - by Shane -

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38001) - you deserved it (7384)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, I finally got up the nerve to invite the guy I like to hang out at my house. It was also the day my mother decided that our house is a "pants optional zone," and that she should implement that policy immediately. While he was at our house. FML

#14802343
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22671) - you deserved it (2339)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mum is convinced I'm a hoarder. While I was out of the house, she went through my room and threw out stuff I "don't need." This included $500 worth of textbooks, a flash drive with crucial work on it, and my phone charger. FML

#14518495
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32958) - you deserved it (2527)

On 01/09/2011 at 6:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a call from an ex, demanding to know why my Facebook relationship status was set as married. I got married a few months ago, and I quietly explained this to her. My wife overheard and now thinks I've been cheating all along. FML

#14260456
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26796) - you deserved it (3816)

On 12/19/2010 at 1:51pm - love - by married and hates - United States

Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML

#14234823
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27517) - you deserved it (11704)

On 12/17/2010 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32659) - you deserved it (19787)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

#12082068
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16355) - you deserved it (66346)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, you're the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML

Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled 'what's a clit'? Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to google it when i got home. FML

#254280
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33279) - you deserved it (73786)

On 03/09/2009 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by danmarino (man) - United States (Rhode Island)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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