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I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will die without me. When I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK. I'll kill myself!' and then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself. I can't believe I dated this idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40722) - you deserved it (10813)
On 03/01/2011 at 8:24am - intimacy - by WhyMe? -
Today, I had to sell my phone to pay for the phone bill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15933) - you deserved it (17757)
On 02/23/2011 at 4:18am - money - by suzyyy (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)
Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36050) - you deserved it (3504)
Today, while trying on bras in the changing room, I wanted to see what my friend's bra looked like on her. Not wishing to leave my changing room in my underwear, I wriggled under her door. When I got through, my bra had come nearly all the way down and when I tried getting back, I got stuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4392) - you deserved it (29929)
On 02/20/2011 at 3:15am - misc - by O.o (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I threw my brand new iPhone 4 in the air whilst laying on my bed. It came down, went through my fingers, landed on my balls, then broke on the concrete floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7655) - you deserved it (57427)
On 02/19/2011 at 9:03pm - misc - by breakinphones - United States (Arizona)
Today, I downloaded an application for my phone that reads whatever you type out loud. I started making it say things like "You like it when daddy spanks your tight little ass don't you?" Just as the message was playing back out loud, my mom walked up the stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7465) - you deserved it (37327)
On 02/17/2011 at 2:02am - intimacy - by biglady (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I went to the vending machine, put in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20218) - you deserved it (8024)
On 02/16/2011 at 6:58pm - misc - by CandyMachine (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I woke up to a bloody nose. Instead of rushing to the bathroom, I creatively dripped the blood over a knife for photography class because the assignment was to show emotion. So many of the students and faculty were disturbed that I'm now forced to talk to the school psychologist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19557) - you deserved it (27489)
On 02/16/2011 at 7:56am - misc - by rhartnett11 -
Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40046) - you deserved it (7605)
On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I spent three and a half hours creating a Wikipedia page for myself. Three minutes after publishing, it was deleted due to me being a "Non-notable person nobody's ever heard of." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6560) - you deserved it (37292)
On 02/11/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by shredded - United Kingdom (Richmond upon Thames)
Today, in an effort to make new friends in my history class, I sat in the empty seat next to a friendly-looking guy. He got up, walked away, and sat down in a different seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25623) - you deserved it (2870)
On 02/11/2011 at 7:08pm - misc - by loner - United States (California)
Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6833) - you deserved it (64019)
On 02/11/2011 at 12:51am - intimacy - by Zibby -
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8576) - you deserved it (26246)
On 02/10/2011 at 11:09am - misc - by Jaws (man) - France (Alsace)
Today, I was leaving school to get tested for peptic ulcers, because my stomach has been hurting for a few months. To wish me luck, one of my friends gave me a friendly punch in the stomach. I threw up blood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37480) - you deserved it (2386)
On 02/08/2011 at 7:48am - health - by soccerscout7 -
Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch. I bent over to scratch it on a piece of plywood, at which point the client's wife walked in and asked what the fuck I was doing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6231) - you deserved it (19187)
On 02/08/2011 at 2:58am - work - by Shane -
Monday 20 May 2013
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