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TechFire

Offline (the 11/09/2014 at 11:27am) | Search for a member

TechFire

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 12 January 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3811
  • Number of comments : 207
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About TechFire : Why are you here? Don't you have better things to read?

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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TechFire's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

#16168525
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36128) - you deserved it (12810)

On 05/14/2011 at 6:43am - health - by BrownDump - United States

Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML

#16166578
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37248) - you deserved it (4249)

On 05/14/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by IhateThem - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML

#16051471
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36543) - you deserved it (4451)

On 05/04/2011 at 11:30pm - misc - by Charlie (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80713) - you deserved it (6035)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -

Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines have been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML

#15874125
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23965) - you deserved it (51525)

On 04/21/2011 at 2:30pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17703) - you deserved it (36503)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML

#15753750
385 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10686) - you deserved it (124885)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:01am - health - by sadcase - Australia

Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML

#15739325
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35093) - you deserved it (5809)

On 04/11/2011 at 11:20am - love - by sandyhome (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML

#15613942
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49453) - you deserved it (5855)

On 04/03/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by cantgetup (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML

#15606903
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16020) - you deserved it (45589)

On 04/02/2011 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by lovely321 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML

#15561412
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40245) - you deserved it (7730)

On 03/30/2011 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13775) - you deserved it (69186)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML

#15500038
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45250) - you deserved it (7251)

On 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Thatslife (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

#15356314
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18221) - you deserved it (82866)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

#15281187
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45521) - you deserved it (7716)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Username - United States



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