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TechFire
  • Town/Country : Brooklyn, NY, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 12 January 1992 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 2795
  • Number of comments : 181
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About TechFire : Why are you here? Don't you have better things to read?

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TechFire's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

#16168525
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34611) - you deserved it (12375)

On 05/14/2011 at 6:43am - health - by BrownDump - United States

Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML

#16166578
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35820) - you deserved it (4155)

On 05/14/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by IhateThem - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML

#16051471
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30396) - you deserved it (3430)

On 05/04/2011 at 11:30pm - misc - by Charlie (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73124) - you deserved it (5503)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -

Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines have been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML

#15874125
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21571) - you deserved it (48279)

On 04/21/2011 at 2:30pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16027) - you deserved it (34295)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML

#15753750
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9184) - you deserved it (116754)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:01am - health - by sadcase - Australia

Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML

#15739325
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31895) - you deserved it (5534)

On 04/11/2011 at 11:20am - love - by sandyhome (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML

#15613942
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45780) - you deserved it (5511)

On 04/03/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by cantgetup (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML

#15606903
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12912) - you deserved it (34912)

On 04/02/2011 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by lovely321 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML

#15561412
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36117) - you deserved it (7318)

On 03/30/2011 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12982) - you deserved it (67003)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML

#15500038
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43127) - you deserved it (7045)

On 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Thatslife (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

#15356314
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15934) - you deserved it (77887)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

#15281187
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41602) - you deserved it (7285)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Username - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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