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TechFire

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TechFire

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 12 January 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5018
  • Number of comments : 208
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About TechFire : Why are you here? Don't you have better things to read?

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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TechFire's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML

#16166578
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38880) - you deserved it (4370)

On 05/14/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by IhateThem - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML

#16051471
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38353) - you deserved it (4604)

On 05/04/2011 at 11:30pm - misc - by Charlie (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84677) - you deserved it (6345)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -

Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines have been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML

#15874125
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25222) - you deserved it (53104)

On 04/21/2011 at 2:30pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18855) - you deserved it (38239)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML

#15753750
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11478) - you deserved it (129455)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:01am - health - by sadcase - Australia

Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML

#15739325
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36376) - you deserved it (5906)

On 04/11/2011 at 11:20am - love - by sandyhome (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML

#15613942
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49718) - you deserved it (5872)

On 04/03/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by cantgetup (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML

#15606903
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16100) - you deserved it (45766)

On 04/02/2011 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by lovely321 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML

#15561412
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40487) - you deserved it (7747)

On 03/30/2011 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13851) - you deserved it (69433)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML

#15500038
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46760) - you deserved it (7401)

On 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Thatslife (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

#15356314
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18341) - you deserved it (83191)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

#15281187
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47776) - you deserved it (7950)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML

#15229654
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14553) - you deserved it (43187)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by lolzboss - United States (Virginia)



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