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I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12727) - you deserved it (3135)
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13950) - you deserved it (26539)
On 01/24/2012 at 3:50am - intimacy - by elisimo - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30315) - you deserved it (3837)
On 01/21/2012 at 5:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23277) - you deserved it (17420)
On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)
Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14084) - you deserved it (22271)
On 01/08/2012 at 7:43pm - intimacy - by caught - United States (Washington)
Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40339) - you deserved it (3162)
On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9648) - you deserved it (57026)
On 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by essay2 - United States (California)
Today, while playing with bubble wrap, I dislocated my thumb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17546) - you deserved it (9842)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:02am - health - by Bigpoppa0507 - Canada
Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25121) - you deserved it (2207)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)
Today, I wrote "I love you" on my girlfriend's Facebook wall. She completely freaked out and accused me of being "too clingy" and that I'm starting to feel more like a stalker than a boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24738) - you deserved it (5250)
On 08/26/2011 at 9:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had an interview for an internship at an independent lawyer's office. Hoping to increase my chances of being hired, I dressed up sexily with a short skirt, high heels, and ample cleavage. Turns out his wife handles the interviews. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7488) - you deserved it (84177) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my boyfriend told me about this guy who makes balloon animals with his penis. My boyfriend has spent the last 4 hours trying to make his penis look like a pretzel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22908) - you deserved it (2939)
On 08/08/2011 at 10:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26208) - you deserved it (3601)
On 08/08/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Jilly (woman) - Australia
Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30815) - you deserved it (5130)
On 08/08/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by ApparentDrugAddict (woman) - United States
Today, I was peeing, and I sneezed. I looked down to see that my gum had flown out of my mouth and gotten caught in my pubes. On the upside I got a new look. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15901) - you deserved it (6515)
On 08/06/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by en3rg1zer21 - United States (Wisconsin)
Monday 17 June 2013
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