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TechFire

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TechFire
  • Town/Country : Brooklyn, NY, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 12 January 1992 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 2830
  • Number of comments : 182
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About TechFire : Why are you here? Don't you have better things to read?

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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TechFire's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

#19085397
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24544) - you deserved it (1792)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I found out that getting drunk and attempting to take a dump out of a second-story window is a very bad idea. FML

#19069104
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4904) - you deserved it (33111)

On 02/13/2012 at 9:55pm - misc - by michael (man) - United States

Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

#19063795
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31356) - you deserved it (2172)

On 02/13/2012 at 7:03am - health - by loveinanelevator (man) -

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

#18976293
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15367) - you deserved it (19659)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - India

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

#18896901
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14281) - you deserved it (27030)

On 01/24/2012 at 3:50am - intimacy - by elisimo - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML

#18872810
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31123) - you deserved it (3886)

On 01/21/2012 at 5:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML

#18813229
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27165) - you deserved it (22097)

On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

#18749585
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14335) - you deserved it (22806)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:43pm - intimacy - by caught - United States (Washington)

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

#17848518
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41017) - you deserved it (3192)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML

#17821676
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11254) - you deserved it (72238)

On 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by essay2 - United States (California)

Today, while playing with bubble wrap, I dislocated my thumb. FML

#17628790
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20479) - you deserved it (12497)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:02am - health - by Bigpoppa0507 - Canada

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29472) - you deserved it (2849)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, I wrote "I love you" on my girlfriend's Facebook wall. She completely freaked out and accused me of being "too clingy" and that I'm starting to feel more like a stalker than a boyfriend. FML

#17589348
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29115) - you deserved it (6898)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had an interview for an internship at an independent lawyer's office. Hoping to increase my chances of being hired, I dressed up sexily with a short skirt, high heels, and ample cleavage. Turns out his wife handles the interviews. FML

#17579225
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8322) - you deserved it (90248) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/25/2011 at 5:45pm - love - by santa_maria - Reunion

Today, my boyfriend told me about this guy who makes balloon animals with his penis. My boyfriend has spent the last 4 hours trying to make his penis look like a pretzel. FML

#17406158
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25729) - you deserved it (3710)

On 08/08/2011 at 10:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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