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Talloz

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Talloz
  • Town/Country : Netherlands
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 24 February 1991 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 3178
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Talloz's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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Talloz's favorite FMLs

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

#17919622
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35926) - you deserved it (9554)

On 10/06/2011 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot and sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food and toss it on the floor. FML

Today, I had a job interview. The only moment I impressed the interviewer was when I talked about drama. He started to talk about a play I hadn't seen, but I decided to agree on everything he was saying. Suddenly he said, "the play doesn't actually exist." I silently left the room. FML

#17912138
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7613) - you deserved it (30662)

On 10/05/2011 at 4:33pm - work - by Lyingg (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night. There are eggs, coins and Oreos glued to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house are in the garden. And I'm naked and covered in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon. My parents return in an hour. FML

#17899100
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10525) - you deserved it (45434)

On 10/03/2011 at 9:19pm - misc - by danii - Reserved

Today, after a great treadmill run at my gym, I noticed a stain on my clothing. Apparently my nipple chafed so badly that it bled through my white t-shirt, and I'd walked around the gym completely oblivious. FML

#17898016
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24268) - you deserved it (3178)

On 10/03/2011 at 7:19pm - health - by sorenips - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my 20 year old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML

#17897207
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28635) - you deserved it (4689)

On 10/03/2011 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML

#17895796
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27715) - you deserved it (2733)

On 10/03/2011 at 1:58pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my mom found a new way to get me to clean my room. She piled everything from my floor in front of my wardrobe and padlocked my dresser shut. The best part? She put the key in my room. The worst part? She put over a hundred decoys in there too. FML

#17880889
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8878) - you deserved it (30445)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by Kazuya - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

#17843744
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10052) - you deserved it (27699)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm - health - by mimi - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

#17843188
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15836) - you deserved it (25934)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:03pm - health - by Jesus (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML

#17821676
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11251) - you deserved it (72229)

On 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by essay2 - United States (California)

Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML

#17795601
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43486) - you deserved it (7940)

On 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm - intimacy - by ThisBlows (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML

#17794550
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25914) - you deserved it (4121)

On 09/21/2011 at 9:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML

#17790312
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34566) - you deserved it (1968)

On 09/20/2011 at 7:54pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, a weird old woman came up to me and told me that it's okay: being ugly isn't a choice, it's nothing to be ashamed of, and that it's what inside that counts. She then hugged me and walked away. FML

#17786304
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26800) - you deserved it (2515)

On 09/20/2011 at 4:08am - misc - by ugly? - United States



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