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Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17553) - you deserved it (41042)
On 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm - misc - by FML136969 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45866) - you deserved it (4620)
On 05/05/2013 at 3:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32407) - you deserved it (60506)
On 05/05/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by beyondembarrassed - United States
Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49295) - you deserved it (9305)
On 05/05/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by dancer, not a hooker... - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45424) - you deserved it (3692)
On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)
Today, I learned that my mother counts my jeans as two pairs when she counts how many she's putting in for a load of wash. I've gotten that fat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20404) - you deserved it (31202)
On 05/04/2013 at 8:41pm - misc - by Fatty Fatty Fatso (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my mom came back from a major surgery. She also had a yeast infection. I had to push the applicator in because she couldn't bend down. This cannot be unfelt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43928) - you deserved it (2365)
On 05/04/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
I agree, your life sucks (44041) - you deserved it (6070)
On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57545) - you deserved it (8157)
On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54109) - you deserved it (11024)
On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -
Today, I was checking out a customer who seemed quite friendly. As I finished, he reached slightly over the counter and I impulsively reached out and shook his hand. He gave me a dumbfounded look and said, "Can I have my change please?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21252) - you deserved it (27866)
On 05/04/2013 at 1:17am - work - by charishard - United States (Texas)
Today, I was forced to work with someone I absolutely hate. I then found myself starting to like him, until he shot me in the forehead with a stapler gun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42088) - you deserved it (3566)
On 05/03/2013 at 9:30pm - work - by annoyedgirl - United States (Washington)
Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52705) - you deserved it (2706)
On 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands
Today, I was at dance rehearsal. As a male dancer I like to keep the fact that I dance a secret because of the stupid stereotypes male dancers have. This plan was quickly shot down when I discovered I was performing at my school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34520) - you deserved it (4596)
On 05/03/2013 at 8:39pm - misc - by DeActivated (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML
I agree, your life sucks (44309) - you deserved it (4032)
On 05/03/2013 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany
Monday 20 May 2013
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