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Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46043) - you deserved it (2102)
On 04/26/2013 at 1:20am - love - by sad guy - United States
Today, I got home and noticed people were looking at my next-door neighbor's house that is for rent. Peering closer, I realized my ex-boyfriend and the girl he cheated on me with a few months ago are inside. After they left, the "for rent" sign came down. I've got new neighbors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43886) - you deserved it (2148)
On 04/25/2013 at 11:01pm - love - by nodullmoment (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34502) - you deserved it (4416)
On 04/25/2013 at 8:11pm - animals - by emma_waters23 - United States (California)
Today, my sister was crying to me about how her boyfriend never showed up for their date. He's done this many times before, so I suggested the fact that maybe he'd just ditched her. She said that was ridiculous, because "he's Canadian" and according to her, "they don't lie." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38430) - you deserved it (4096)
On 04/25/2013 at 4:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was excited for my first date in a while, with a "tall handsome business man." Turns out he "doesn't feel emotions anymore", likes getting peed on, and "doesn't do condoms." Thanks, internet dating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42463) - you deserved it (10180)
On 04/25/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was tutoring a band member. Whenever I ask him to play a D or any D scale, he stops just to snicker and say, "Ha ha. D." He still sucks. I hate his guts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32912) - you deserved it (4555)
On 04/25/2013 at 3:55am - work - by justgivemethed - United States (California)
Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25968) - you deserved it (37695)
On 04/25/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by goingtobeevicted - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I finally hooked up with the guy that I have been in love with forever. If there is such a thing as soul mates, this guy is it. He's my best friend in the whole world. It was the worst sex I have ever had. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49298) - you deserved it (9472)
On 04/25/2013 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Live Sweet -
Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42096) - you deserved it (22997)
On 04/24/2013 at 6:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47380) - you deserved it (2970)
On 04/24/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by awkward O_o - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39290) - you deserved it (5009)
On 04/24/2013 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was sent to group therapy. A girl spent twenty minutes telling us horrible details of having been raised incestuously. A side effect of my new medication is yawning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37779) - you deserved it (2811)
On 04/24/2013 at 2:23am - health - by fiercehawk (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my seven-year-old nephew challenged me to a push up contest in front of my girlfriend. He beat me, and then asked my girlfriend why she's dating a pussy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44797) - you deserved it (18158)
On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - kids - by BIGCHEIFAAA (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was fired on my second day of work after a year and a half of unemployment. Apparently, my "tendency to solve problems instead of just accepting them made the other workers uneasy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (43692) - you deserved it (2710)
On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - work - by anonymous (man) - Germany
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68826) - you deserved it (3077)
On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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