Hii im Suzzy.I'm Average yet unique♥.I love making new friends and meeting new people:DI Don't hate people but people hate me.I express myself through dance,song,art, and laughterIm trouble, Im out-going Crazy,and not to mention loud. You'll think im annoying.I have lots of phobias such as Coulrophobia,Achluophobia,,Agyrophobia,Altophobia, Tomophobia,Tetanophobia,and Polyphobia:]I have a huge heart♥.I go to lengths to get an unhappy person to smile. My smile never breaks.my life,leave it alone..I'm Easily amused && Easily broken.I forgive to easy and I'm always getting hurt.i know one day ill bee who i want to be.that day will come soon.then ill enjoy life soo much more.I almost never make sense when i talk:]I always say the wrongs things,and have a very bad mouth.Th.♥.I believe things fall apart so better things can fall together♥ && I believe what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.
Today, I went to a restaurant for lunch. I began to eat when I noticed a blond hair in my food. When that happened, I went up to the counter and began complaining about their hygiene. When the manager insisted no one that works there had long blond hair, I realized that it was my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2241) - you totally deserved it (35727)
On 09/30/2009 at 5:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today I went to a school committee meeting. I sat opposite my boyfriend. To get his attention I began stroking his crotch area with my leg. The principal stood up 5 minutes later pulling me under the table. My tights were caught in his zipper. FML
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On 09/29/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by clumssyXO (woman) - Hungary (Veszprem)
Today, I was picking up my 10 year old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML
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On 09/28/2009 at 11:13am - kids - by justgreat (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML
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On 09/28/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by ohcrap (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML
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On 08/13/2009 at 11:23am - intimacy - by esb (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML
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On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)
Today, is the day my husband was supposed to come home from a six month tour at sea. I heard the door bell ring. I sprinted to the door expecting to hold my honey bear, instead two uniformed sailors with a folded flag greeted me. I burst into tears. My husband walked up behind me. He laughed. FML
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On 05/10/2009 at 9:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML
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On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend brought me breakfast in bed, told me all the things he loved about me, got down on one knee and pulled out the little blue box I had been hoping for, for so long. He opened the box and there was a note inside that said, "April Fools!" FML
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On 04/01/2009 at 9:44am - love - by twstedillusion (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML
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On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was wearing my workout clothes that consist of short shorts and a tank top and was walking to my car. I then heard a bunch of men whistling and saying "Who's your daddy?" and "Why don't you come over here, cutie." As I got closer I realized that it was my dad and his friends. FML
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On 03/18/2009 at 6:51pm - misc - by Alex (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, on the 6 train home, I had a gun placed against the back of my head and my wallet, watch, and iPod stolen. As soon as the robber got what he wanted, he turned and ran, dropping his weapon to the ground... I got mugged by a man wielding a F*ing Pez dispenser. FML
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On 03/13/2009 at 2:08pm - money - by BobaFett (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled : "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
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On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she randomly asked me "does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked "does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
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On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was reported to my principal because someone caught me shooting up at the cafeteria lunch table and as a result I have been suspended from school. I am a diabetic, I was giving myself insulin before I ate crappy school food. FML
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On 03/02/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by SugarFree4Life (man) - United States (Maryland)
