About Sunkistlover718 : I lurk in the shadows, only uttering comments when I feel especially compelled to.
Sunkistlover718's FML badges
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
You sure know how to party?
You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!
Sunkistlover718's favorite FMLs
Today, I was pretending to be a monkey for a "documentary". The branch snapped and I fell out of the tree and onto a car roof. It was after school, I fell onto the dean's BMW. The video was on facebook before I regained consciousness. FML
by jane / 10/09/2009 at 10:04am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by dreamdude / 09/20/2009 at 9:21am / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML
by GodDaughter / 09/19/2009 at 8:08pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face" while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML
by Anonymous / 09/19/2009 at 12:55am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "slow down, children" sign. I was nice and slowed down as I passed a couple little kids with their parents outside watching them. I guess I was going too slow because one of the fathers started chasing me down the street calling me a pedophile. FML
by Anonymous / 09/18/2009 at 9:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, I had a blind date with a girl someone in my office set me up with. Before the waitress returned with our drinks, this girl asked me to go to her parent's house and pretend to be the father of her yet unborn child because the real father is a drug addict and in jail for stealing her dad's car. FML
by oh_its_true / 09/18/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by cramps / 09/17/2009 at 9:59am / Australia (Victoria) / Health
Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML
by sarahh38 / 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2009 at 1:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
Today, while talking online with my boyfriend, the conversation turns sexual. He stops responding but I continue with the conversation. Then I get a response: "this is his sister. He fell asleep and I need the computer. I'll tell him you said goodnight, but not that other stuff". FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2009 at 12:44am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, I parked in front of a grocery store and took the portable GPS system off the mount on the dashboard and put it in my pocket so no one would break into my car and steal it. When I got back, the window was smashed and someone had stolen the plastic mount. FML
by sucksforme / 09/11/2009 at 8:40pm / United States (Oregon) / Transportation
Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2009 at 2:27pm / United States (California) / Love
by awilson / 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, after spending 20 minutes every day working on my abs for the last month and feeling pretty good about how they were looking, I received the first comment about them. A girl poked them and said 'squish'. FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2009 at 10:51am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was putting my horse away into her pasture, when I slipped in the mud. In a haisty attempt to support myself, I grabbed the electric fence in on hand, and my horse with the other. The shock from the fence traveled through me to her, sending her running and leaving me with 2 broken teeth. FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2009 at 10:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…