About StephanoTheSloth : Sloth Squad For Life
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StephanoTheSloth's favorite FMLs
by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh / 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML
by assholedad / 06/21/2013 at 2:05pm / United States (Ohio) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/21/2013 at 12:44am / United States (Washington) / Work
by JabberWocky54210 / 06/21/2013 at 12:09am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
by accountnamevalid / 06/20/2013 at 10:23pm / United States / Transportation
by whatno / 06/19/2013 at 7:40pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
by Anonymous / 06/19/2013 at 11:29am / United States (Virginia) / Health
by Overprotected / 06/19/2013 at 10:39am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML
by No money, mo' problems / 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm / United States / Money
by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 6:44am / United States / Health
Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2013 at 11:20am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Rjlup / 06/11/2013 at 10:00am / United States (Colorado) / Animals
Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML
by Anonymous / 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend threw out my old voicemail recorder, thinking it was junk. My father passed away years ago. I kept a recording of the last voicemail he'd left me on it so I'd always remember his voice. FML
by Upset / 06/10/2013 at 7:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML
by Frazz / 06/10/2013 at 1:09am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
- Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In… Today, I was giving my friend sex advice when she asked me when was the last time for me. Not only… Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a…