About StephanoTheSloth : Sloth Squad For Life
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StephanoTheSloth's favorite FMLs
by fucked up dad / 07/11/2013 at 3:50pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy
by vet1 / 07/11/2013 at 11:18am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work
by my honest father / 07/10/2013 at 12:33pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was over my grandparents' house for my grandfather's birthday. For years they would talk to each other in Italian and I could never understand them, so I started to take an online class to teach myself Italian. Now I know all they talk about is how much they hate everything about me. FML
by mike / 07/10/2013 at 3:51am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML
by John / 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/09/2013 at 1:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML
by Anonymous / 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask my crush to a movie. What I didn't realise is that she would bring a "friend" along, and that I would have to sit next to them making out for 2 hours. FML
by thirdwheel / 07/09/2013 at 7:05am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
Today, my husband and I threw a party with non-alcoholic wine. No one acted wasted, until in the last hour my grandmother started slurring her words and slumping. We thought she was joking, until a doctor at the party confirmed she was having a stroke. FML
by Aggressive / 07/09/2013 at 4:54am / Ireland (Dublin) / Health
by pinkXpress1023 / 07/08/2013 at 2:55pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML
by realitybites / 07/08/2013 at 1:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my husband's recent obsession with The Sopranos since James Gandolfini died went a step further into the ridiculous, when he tried to encourage some ducks to land in our swimming pool by throwing loaves of bread into it, while bellowing at them with a 'Noo Joisey' Wise Guy accent. FML
by Not Mrs Soprano / 07/08/2013 at 7:57am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by PerfectTiming / 07/08/2013 at 7:19am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Animals
Today, I politely asked a man to not sleep on a tram stop that I had to clean. He got up, and while I leaned forward to pick up some trash from the ground nearby, I felt a warm stream on my back. Now I can't get the smell of urine off my clothes. FML
by FUCK.THIS.JOB. / 07/08/2013 at 1:57am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Work
- Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to… Today, I was fooling around a bit with my girlfriend while cooking dinner when she said, "Don't get… Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up.…
- Today, for the first time ever, my mom told me that I am pretty and she loves me. When I told her… Today, locked out of my house for hours, I had to shit so badly that I found myself squatting under… Today, I had a sex dream. I woke up, sleepily got myself off and fell right asleep. it wasn't until…