Squishytoes

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Squishytoes

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 4 July 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1976
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Squishytoes : Ask me anything http://formspring.me/kittykissez

Squishytoes's page activity

Visits<b>christianb2169</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 6:56am<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 7:43pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:31pm<b>NicoleIAm</b> - the 12/12/2010 at 1:15am<b>sugarnspicee</b> - the 08/26/2010 at 6:07pm<b>nyrfan1102</b> - the 08/25/2010 at 10:55pm<b>roflinyourwaffle</b> - the 08/02/2010 at 3:53pm<b>_Gabbie_</b> - the 08/02/2010 at 2:51pm<b>TigerTattoo</b> - the 08/01/2010 at 4:41am<b>281go</b> - the 07/31/2010 at 12:10pm<b>greyy_goooose</b> - the 07/30/2010 at 2:55pm<b>YourSweetie</b> - the 07/29/2010 at 3:00pm<b>epr</b> - the 07/28/2010 at 7:58pm<b>picturescrazy</b> - the 07/24/2010 at 7:11pm<b>prettypink786</b> - the 07/19/2010 at 2:05am<b>TechFire</b> - the 07/17/2010 at 8:51am<b>Trollz4daLULZ</b> - the 07/17/2010 at 6:38am<b>Dayuummm_itsLIA</b> - the 07/16/2010 at 4:12pm

Squishytoes's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Squishytoes's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

by stupiddrunk / 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

by verasam01 / 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML

by painfulintercourse / 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML

by dickwebs / 11/21/2010 at 10:42pm / Germany / Animals

Today, someone in my class wrote "Erase me if you can!" at the very top of the board, as I am always tormented about how short I am compared to everyone else. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't reach it. I'm the teacher. FML

by Petitprof / 11/12/2010 at 1:23pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 2:29am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

by blah blah daddy / 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I attempted to be nice and hold a door open for a person in a wheelchair. He hit the button to open another door. While I pointed out that I would hold the door for him, I realized that the door I was holding open for him led down some stairs. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2010 at 8:44pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML

by Andrew / 09/24/2010 at 6:22am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, a crying kid was brought to my attention by a customer. He was so upset from losing his mom that he couldn't say his name or his moms name. I took him around the store asking him to point out his mom. Once we found her she told me "I was hiding from my kid to test his independence." FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2010 at 12:27am / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend hacked my facebook account and set my status to say that I was in love with my boss. Seeing the post, my boss called me into his office, and told me he loved me too... FML

by Camille / 07/13/2010 at 8:02pm / United States (Maine) / Work

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

by artsmart1 / 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm / United States / Health

Today, while babysitting, the little boy explained to me why I was single, reasons such as 'unattractive' and 'not the girlfriend type'. I cried. FML

by owned / 01/24/2010 at 6:58pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids