Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Squishytoes

Search for a member

Squishytoes

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 4 July 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1551
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Squishytoes : Ask me anything http://formspring.me/kittykissez

Squishytoes's page activity

Visits<b>christianb2169</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 6:56am<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 7:43pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:31pm<b>ncbeach22</b> - the 03/11/2011 at 8:38am<b>fluffingclouds</b> - the 01/29/2011 at 4:02am<b>NicoleIAm</b> - the 12/12/2010 at 1:15am<b>sugarnspicee</b> - the 08/26/2010 at 6:07pm<b>nyrfan1102</b> - the 08/25/2010 at 10:55pm<b>roflinyourwaffle</b> - the 08/02/2010 at 3:53pm<b>_Gabbie_</b> - the 08/02/2010 at 2:51pm<b>TigerTattoo</b> - the 08/01/2010 at 4:41am<b>281go</b> - the 07/31/2010 at 12:10pm<b>greyy_goooose</b> - the 07/30/2010 at 2:55pm<b>YourSweetie</b> - the 07/29/2010 at 3:00pm<b>epr</b> - the 07/28/2010 at 7:58pm<b>picturescrazy</b> - the 07/24/2010 at 7:11pm<b>prettypink786</b> - the 07/19/2010 at 2:05am<b>TechFire</b> - the 07/17/2010 at 8:51am

Squishytoes's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Squishytoes's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

#15154591
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13432) - you deserved it (34766)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

#15105515
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16276) - you deserved it (46287)

On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69703) - you deserved it (6564)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML

#13937569
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33149) - you deserved it (7582)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by painfulintercourse - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML

#13930948
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33971) - you deserved it (4624)

On 11/21/2010 at 10:42pm - animals - by dickwebs - Germany

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45920) - you deserved it (14694)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

#13293107
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40231) - you deserved it (9442)

On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)

Today, I attempted to be nice and hold a door open for a person in a wheelchair. He hit the button to open another door. While I pointed out that I would hold the door for him, I realized that the door I was holding open for him led down some stairs. FML

#13227031
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9419) - you deserved it (30710)

On 09/27/2010 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML

#13180631
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35529) - you deserved it (4071)

On 09/24/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by Andrew - United States (Indiana)

Today, a crying kid was brought to my attention by a customer. He was so upset from losing his mom that he couldn't say his name or his moms name. I took him around the store asking him to point out his mom. Once we found her she told me "I was hiding from my kid to test his independence." FML

#13107358
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34196) - you deserved it (2373)

On 09/19/2010 at 12:27am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

#12978436
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8431) - you deserved it (38140)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend hacked my facebook account and set my status to say that I was in love with my boss. Seeing the post, my boss called me into his office, and told me he loved me too... FML

#11858705
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49852) - you deserved it (4164)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:02pm - work - by Camille (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

#8851700
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22916) - you deserved it (2414)

On 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by artsmart1 - United States

Today, while babysitting, the little boy explained to me why I was single, reasons such as 'unattractive' and 'not the girlfriend type'. I cried. FML

#7550424
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30570) - you deserved it (3842)

On 01/24/2010 at 6:58pm - kids - by owned (woman) - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: