Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SquealingMoose

Online | Search for a member

SquealingMoose

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 646
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About SquealingMoose : I'm not very interesting... Sorry. But message me if you wanna chat or something!

SquealingMoose's page activity

Visits<b>AwesomeRhone</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 10:06pm<b>clawfossil2</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 10:49pm<b>fueledbyhate</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 1:33am<b>Cgeneral002</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 7:39pm<b>Etched</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 2:55am<b>chuckster2005</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 2:46am<b>Mynameislinh</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 9:04pm<b>1tsmenoah</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 8:57pm<b>ryanporter14</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 3:45pm<b>Shrouds</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 1:45pm<b>evviejaye</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 12:58pm<b>davincidasecond</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 11:52am<b>lanah</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 11:51am<b>Saywat145</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 8:20am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:21am<b>Anomalymous</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 12:18am<b>borisyelstin</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 11:15am<b>skyler_hecker</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 6:16am

SquealingMoose's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of SquealingMoose's badges

SquealingMoose's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up at 4am to my mom's drunk boyfriend digging in the backyard, frantically muttering "Where the fuck is it?" When I went out and asked what was going on, he told me to get back inside or he'd dig a hole for me too. I'm beyond scared. FML

#21243776
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38614) - you deserved it (2764)

On 08/23/2014 at 12:44pm - misc - by wtf... (man) - United States (California)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35982) - you deserved it (6604)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47401) - you deserved it (4516)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML

#21230044
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43814) - you deserved it (6829)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by donutsex (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my wife of 12 years has slept with the workmen we've had working on our long term building project. They call her the "quickie queen". FML

#21226819
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51953) - you deserved it (3622)

On 08/01/2014 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49357) - you deserved it (11714)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56304) - you deserved it (41669)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML

#21074161
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47323) - you deserved it (14289)

On 02/28/2014 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML

#21071183
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41711) - you deserved it (7445)

On 02/25/2014 at 11:59am - love - by jill (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML

#21070515
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42253) - you deserved it (5932)

On 02/24/2014 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Author (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom told me all about how I was conceived in a Disney Land toilet. FML

#21070288
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41428) - you deserved it (3646)

On 02/24/2014 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Dudley)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML

#21069326
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50432) - you deserved it (6669)

On 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31516) - you deserved it (47620)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47100) - you deserved it (17079)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: