About Sporkly : Hello friends I am Jodie and I'm a boring short Irish girl who likes Roosterteeth and maybe other things.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (182162) - you deserved it (25553)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my husband and I were having sex in the shower while our 5-year old was sleeping. Apparently, she wasn't sleeping and she asked me what those loud noises were. I told her I was singing. Now I can't get her to stop "singing" in the shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14669) - you deserved it (43708)
On 06/20/2009 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my husband and I were having sex in the shower while our 5-year old was sleeping. Apparently, she wasn't sleeping and she asked me what those loud noises were. I told her I was singing. Now I can't get her to stop "singing" in the shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14669) - you deserved it (43708)
On 06/20/2009 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my husband and I were having sex in the shower while our 5-year old was sleeping. Apparently, she wasn't sleeping and she asked me what those loud noises were. I told her I was singing. Now I can't get her to stop "singing" in the shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14669) - you deserved it (43708)
On 06/20/2009 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, was my sister's and dad's birthday. I accidentally mixed up the gifts I got for them and my dad ended up with a vibrator. He wasn't very happy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12694) - you deserved it (7635)
On 05/25/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by silvercity09 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23875) - you deserved it (51293)
On 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm - love - by zero_minded12 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41541) - you deserved it (7697)
On 05/18/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by oops (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I paid $60 for a haircut from a professional stylist, only to walk out looking like Spock from Star Trek. The worst part was the stylist asked me, "Hey, are you going to see that new Star Trek movie?" and tried to talk me into watching it. Now, wherever I go, people are giving me the 'live long and prosper' sign. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46204) - you deserved it (6829)
On 05/05/2009 at 2:21am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (124513) - you deserved it (8060)
On 04/29/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by fingerfuckd (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13694) - you deserved it (109727)
On 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by ohshittttttt - United States (New York)
Today, my friend was saying how her "nano" died. I quickly responded by saying, "So? Recharge it." Turns out she didn't say "nano"; she'd said "nana." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21762) - you deserved it (43012)
On 04/02/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (140709) - you deserved it (8788)
On 03/31/2009 at 10:17am - health - by warp_routine (woman) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I was teaching a swimming lesson to 6-7 year old boys and girls. I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I haven't been taking care of my bikini line. While I was demonstrating how to do a whip-kick out of the water one of the boys said, "You have a beard coming out of your bathing suit!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (34290) - you deserved it (53026)
On 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm - kids - by superfkd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41370) - you deserved it (250762)
On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21742) - you deserved it (35723)
On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)
Monday 17 June 2013
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