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Sporkly

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Sporkly
  • Town/Country : Ireland
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 3 April 1999 (15 years)
  • Number of visits : 1431
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About Sporkly : Hello friends! I am Jodie and I'm a boring short Irish girl (4'11'') who likes One Piece and maybe other things. I'm very shy and people scare me.
P.S. please ignore the shitty username

Sporkly's last visitors

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Sporkly's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Sporkly's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

#20836671
111 comments

Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've had the biggest crush on. He spent the next ten minutes calling me delusional, said that I know nothing about him, and laughed that "this isn't Twilight, for fuck's sake". All he did when I started crying was pat me on the head and leave. FML

#20826991
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50994) - you deserved it (8914)

On 08/08/2013 at 8:54am - love - by names suck and so do I (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

#20826932
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54411) - you deserved it (15245)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:10am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Latvia (Jelgavas)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44192) - you deserved it (20773)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

#20823157
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51210) - you deserved it (16879)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:07am - work - by offuckingcourse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53354) - you deserved it (4806)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49428) - you deserved it (7867)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61787) - you deserved it (6193)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a kid was ranting that "people these days are so rude" and that "things were much better in the '50s." Annoyed, I asked the delusional twat what was so great about the racial segregation, rampant sexism, homophobia, and all the rest back then. He responded by punching me. FML

#20792660
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40785) - you deserved it (13409)

On 07/19/2013 at 4:36pm - health - by "people these days" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML

#20771337
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45201) - you deserved it (2953)

On 07/08/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by Garchomp (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

#20766295
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50488) - you deserved it (4315)

On 07/06/2013 at 12:17am - love - by walker - United States

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

#20756438
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42803) - you deserved it (7934)

On 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm - kids - by sorry, kiddo (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML

#20745688
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44301) - you deserved it (11005)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by dan (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

#20735100
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42045) - you deserved it (4060)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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