About SonOfAMitch : Just a FML user spreading joy to the unfortunate FMLers.
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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16494) - you deserved it (4285)
On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23074) - you deserved it (2056)
On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States
Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22528) - you deserved it (4118)
On 06/11/2012 at 3:14am - animals - by ILoveAnimals (woman) - Austria (Wien)
Today, I found the best cure for constipation is having my brother scare the literal shit out of me, in Walmart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17075) - you deserved it (1733)
On 04/26/2012 at 1:29pm - health - by crazyk2468 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the grocery store, waiting in line to pay. A man jumped me from behind, and my first reflex was to brutally elbow him in the face. I soon discovered my attacker was one of the patients at the disability house at which I work, and he was trying to hug me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21790) - you deserved it (4521)
On 04/10/2012 at 3:26pm - work - by rescuetheduck (woman) - Finland (Eastern Finland)
Today, my parents told me that I will grow up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this because I took the last chocolate egg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21184) - you deserved it (3743)
On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - misc - by uhhh what? - United States (Washington)
Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15793) - you deserved it (2819)
On 04/10/2012 at 6:48am - animals - by Baustigt - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15793) - you deserved it (2819)
On 04/10/2012 at 6:48am - animals - by Baustigt - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19893) - you deserved it (6929)
On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States
Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25214) - you deserved it (2456)
On 02/26/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by whattabrat - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19695) - you deserved it (5983)
On 02/21/2012 at 10:33am - health - by mary (woman) - Australia
Today, I was so hungry that I literally stole candy from a baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7774) - you deserved it (28540)
On 11/21/2011 at 9:34am - health - by bad karma (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43143) - you deserved it (11803)
On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7163) - you deserved it (13136)
On 09/29/2011 at 4:04am - work - by AngerManagement - United Kingdom
Today, I was working at my new job at a food court on campus. One of the supervisors came up to my station and told me that I "really look like someone who, through some miracle, accidentally found their way into college." He then threw a pickle at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17381) - you deserved it (1824)
On 09/26/2011 at 1:18am - work - by SakuraBreeze (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Monday 20 May 2013
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