About SonOfAMitch : Just a FML user spreading joy to the unfortunate FMLers.
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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, after having a long talk with my mother about gays, she told me that she was totally open. I felt completely relieved, being gay myself. Seconds later, she said, "But not for you. I want you to find me a nice girl that can give me lots of grand kids." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19917) - you deserved it (3213)
On 09/13/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by EvilMother (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5473) - you deserved it (13955)
On 09/09/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, I was refused employment at a liquor store. Their reason? I'm a regular customer and they're afraid I'll drink all their profits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6311) - you deserved it (10496)
On 09/06/2012 at 8:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I got back to work. Last week, my divorce was finalized and my last name is, once again, my maiden name. Since I'm a teacher, all my students will remember me by my ex-husband's last name. I get to be reminded every day that my marriage failed until everyone memorizes my maiden name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16733) - you deserved it (2367)
On 09/05/2012 at 11:27pm - work - by divorcee - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13664) - you deserved it (32185)
On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13664) - you deserved it (32185)
On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23061) - you deserved it (4403)
On 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by Geckosrock99 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18183) - you deserved it (2090) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24182) - you deserved it (1369)
On 08/22/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and his mom. The hostess asked if I needed "the kid's menu," remarked how I look "so grown up for your age," and asked what grade I was in. I said I'm in university. She laughed as if it was the best joke ever told. I'm 22. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19809) - you deserved it (1026)
On 08/14/2012 at 12:52pm - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States
Today, I was driving down a dark country road with the windows down. Suddenly, a giant barn owl flew through my side-window and smacked into my head, causing me to drive into a ditch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18924) - you deserved it (1625)
On 08/08/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was bagging my groceries when I accidentally smacked myself in the face with a box of popsicles, giving myself a nose bleed. I found out that the cashier hates the sight of blood when she passed out behind the register. They called security on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16871) - you deserved it (1192)
On 08/07/2012 at 11:15pm - health - by MellyBee - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25505) - you deserved it (2134)
On 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I had an upset stomach. I decided to quickly take out the trash before heading to the bathroom. As I opened the trash can lid, a raccoon jumped out. I learned the literal meaning of being scared shitless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15626) - you deserved it (1492)
On 08/07/2012 at 5:19am - health - by TheCerealKiller - United States (California)
Today, I was at a gas station when the cash register made a sound effect similar to one from Sonic the Hedgehog, and I pointed this out. The cashier then saw fit to go on a rant about how I need to stop focusing on video games, and get a life and a girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14015) - you deserved it (4536)
On 08/07/2012 at 12:16am - misc - by Marcowalker95 - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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