About SonOfAMitch : Just a FML user spreading joy to the unfortunate FMLers.
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Today, I ran across the street due to a line of cars waiting for me to cross. Just as I reached the other side, my iPhone slipped out of my hand and fell into the road, just in time to get run over by multiple cars, one after the other. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15093) - you deserved it (4749)
On 11/27/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by unknown - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8181) - you deserved it (14780)
On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States
Today, I was renovating the house, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this, I just gave her a puzzled look. She continued by saying, "Because it's not like people use duct tape on ducks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14315) - you deserved it (1882)
On 11/11/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Danny - United States (Utah)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and I asked him to call me something sweet. He called me Honey Boo Boo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24576) - you deserved it (5287)
On 10/22/2012 at 11:18pm - intimacy - by TypeOhNegative (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my mom hosted a high-school reunion. I had to prepare dessert, while my brother cooked dinner. Being the absolute dickhead that he is, he switched the sugar with salt. All the desserts I made tasted like shit, everyone left, and I got grounded for my supposed prank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15061) - you deserved it (1226)
On 10/21/2012 at 7:00pm - misc - by HOPE YOU GET PEGGED (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18849) - you deserved it (4575)
On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States
Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14307) - you deserved it (8161)
On 10/16/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by bargainshopper (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)
Today, I got a call from my son's school saying to pick him up because he'd shat his pants. He's in high school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18448) - you deserved it (1729)
On 10/16/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by Mike - United States
Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18622) - you deserved it (1270)
On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I have so much ass-acne that it hurts to sit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21124) - you deserved it (4033)
On 10/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by Chamorru (man) - United States
Today, I have so much ass-acne that it hurts to sit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21124) - you deserved it (4033)
On 10/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by Chamorru (man) - United States
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21693) - you deserved it (4925) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 09/21/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by minibuch1505 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15533) - you deserved it (8255)
On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18137) - you deserved it (1605)
On 09/16/2012 at 3:48pm - health - by Derp McShitstain (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27536) - you deserved it (1471)
On 09/14/2012 at 1:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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