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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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SneakyAnchovies

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SneakyAnchovies
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  • Number of visits : 102
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, after a great night of sexual pleasure, I ran to answer the door. The angry woman standing there introduced herself. ''Hi, I'm your neighbor. My seven year old son's bedroom is just next to yours and when you scream at night he gets scared. Do you think you could keep it down?'' FML

#4228072 (241)

I agree, your life sucks (34926) - you deserved it (23116)

On 08/02/2009 at 11:12am - intimacy - by kmb04 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML

#1026397 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (20927) - you deserved it (59913)

On 04/16/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by Eyesore - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut M&M's at work when I exclaimed "oh cool they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes but I did eventually realize that I was looking at a regular M&M sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers uncontrollable laughter. FML

#1023184 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (9171) - you deserved it (53386)

On 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by StewPit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friend and I were seeing a movie. We ended up sitting next to a man who was continually laughing, clapping, and bouncing up and down on his seat. Extremely annoyed, we turned to him and told him to "shut the fuck up". Turns out he had downs syndrome and ran out of the theater crying. FML

#1010714 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (17529) - you deserved it (89597)

On 04/16/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by katem (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I made an appointment with a therapist because lately I've been feeling alone and like no one cares about me. I waited at her office for about forty minutes before the receptionist informed me that she must have forgotten about the appointment. I was stood up by even my therapist. FML

#971564 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (71614) - you deserved it (3936)

On 04/14/2009 at 2:41pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was working as a lifeguard. A woman began to have a seizure. Nervous, I went into shock and walked into a tree, knocking myself out. Post seizure, the woman stood up and walked away. Later, I woke up in the hospital. The ambulance had arrived to take her, but ended up taking me instead. FML

#940649 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (36619) - you deserved it (13142)

On 04/12/2009 at 10:49pm - health - by EpicFailAtItsFinest (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a woman drove through my house. She was texting and eating watermelon at the same time. I didn't know that was even possible, but now my house is condemned. FML

#924163 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (87613) - you deserved it (2865)

On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - health - by Fitz (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

#794025 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (57165) - you deserved it (12163)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friends apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

#748414 (246)

I agree, your life sucks (13042) - you deserved it (78513)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:06pm - health - by nic (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was cutting a bagel, only to slice the back of my hand with the knife. As I grabbed paper towels to clean up the blood, I noticed that the bagel was pre-sliced. FML

#531777 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (23419) - you deserved it (60171)

On 03/22/2009 at 2:43pm - health - by IHateBagels (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

#368302 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (54657) - you deserved it (35090)

On 03/16/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the ER for severe pain in my abdominal area. The doctor comes in after looking at the CT scan and says, "Well it's not your appendix." Thinking I'm in the clear I say, "That's Awesome", the doctor then responded with "It's probably your testicles." FML

#228844 (43)

I agree, your life sucks (48516) - you deserved it (1454)

On 03/06/2009 at 7:43pm - health - by 06SuFi (man) - United States (North Carolina)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.